


My Avengers AU

by MissDawes



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, F/M, Fanfiction, Fiction, Gen, Multi, Mutants, War, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7704406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissDawes/pseuds/MissDawes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who is Joan? What was she to The Asset before he became The Asset? What happens when they meet again after he's run from HYDRA for 2 years and is regaining memories of his former self? </p><p>This takes place after CACW, but with a few changes. Primary pairing is Bucky/OFC. I suck at summary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**   
**Sweet Memories  
  
**

_Invading his nose is the scent of a bar: alcohol, sweat, and smoke. There is however, another scent he smells. One that is floral and earthy, and gets stronger when a pair of arms wrap around his neck._  
  
 _"Hey James,"_  
  
 _"Hey yourself, Joan." He turns in her arms and for once his memory of the once faceless dark haired woman becomes clear._  
  
 _She is beautiful with her exotic features. A rounded face with high forehead, strong cheekbones, a small nose and full lips. Looking back at him are a pair of big, beautiful brown eyes with long lashes._  
 _Tonight she's decked out in a forest green dress and black heels. Her hair isn't down like it usually is, but it's swept back in a French braid. Humidity of the air tonight has caused strands to curl and pop free and Bucky finds himself liking the look on her._  
  
 _"How's my squaw?"_  
  
 _"Y'know, if you were anyone else, I'd thump you for that."_  
  
 _He smiles and pecks her on the lips. "I know. It makes me feel special that ya don't. Besides, you know I don't mean it the way others do, right?"_  
  
 _"Right. Just like how I call you my cracker."_  
  
 _"I'm not that white."_  
  
 _"You're as white as a marshmallow."_  
  
 _"Would you dance with this marshmallow?"_  
  
 _"Don't be silly. Marshmallows don't have legs."_  
  
 _For a moment is he crestfallen and then grins as she pulls him by the lapels of his jacket out on to the dance floor._  
  
 _"You had me there for a minute."_  
  
 _"I know."_  
  
 _"That was mean."_  
  
_"Aw, I'm sorry you big marshmallow. Now what was that I heard about maybe Peggy has a friend?"_  
  
_"How much of that did you hear?"_  
  
_"Just that you think you've turned into Steve when he was your sidekick. Flirtin' with that English girl and here I thought you were interested in me."_  
  
_"You know me, Joan, I'm a big 'ol flirt. I don't even notice it sometimes. It didn't mean anything. Y'know that, right?" Bucky pauses. "Right? Joan?"_  
  
_Her bland expression breaks into a little smile and Bucky scoffs._  
  
_"Got you again."_  
  
_"Brat."_  
  
_"Yeah, Buck, I know. But y'know I'm a territorial little turd and I don't like the English."_  
  
_"Don't you worry about it, dollface. Peggy's Steves girl. You are mine."_  
  
_"I'm your girl, huh?"_  
  
_"Yep. What is it you like to say? Mine, mine, mine, all mine." He smirks. "Am I not your man?"_  
  
_"Am I making an honest fella, outta you Mr.Barnes?"_  
  
_"Yes ma'am."_  
  
_"Good. Cause you are my man. Don't you ever forget it."_  
  
Bucky's eyes snap open and he bolts upright in the bed when he hears the sound of breaking glass. He gets up and pads down the hallway in his barefeet, gun in hand. Steve is in the little kitchen with dustpan and brush to clean up the broken glass on the floor.   
  
"Buck! Jesus, you scared me."  
  
"Sorry. I heard . . . stuff breaking. It woke me up."  
  
"Sorry." He dumps the glass in the trash. "I didn't stack 'em right and one slid right off. So, aside from me waking you up, how did you sleep?"  
  
"I dreamed."  
  
"Oh yeah? Something good?"  
  
"What happened to Joan?"  
  
Steve does not reply as quickly as Bucky had wanted.   
  
"Steve, what happened to Joan?"   
  
"It's complicated. You might wanna sit down."  
  
"Is she dead?"  
  
"No. Quite the opposite actually."   
  
"So she's alive?"  
  
"Can I explain or are you gonna keep interrupting me?"  
  
"Go ahead. I'll hold my questions."   
  
"Do you remember our talk about mutants? And how they're basically enhanced humans that were   
born that way and not made like you and me?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Jaydn's a mutant."   
  
Bucky pulls out a chair and sits. Steve watches as the new information sinks in.   
  
"I don't remember that about her."  
  
"She never told us outright what she was, but I think we both knew."  
  
"She's alive?"  
  
"And still young. She hasn't aged a day."  
  
"How?" Then a thought occurs to him. "Please don't tell me HYDRA got ahold of her."  
  
"No. It's all natural. She's what's called a feral mutant. She's been categorizing mutant abilities for centuries."  
  
"Centuries?"  
  
"Yeah. Centuries. Do you need a minute to absorb that?"  
  
"No. I'm okay. Keep going. What can she do?"  
  
"A lotta things."  
  
"She good?"  
  
"Yeah, Buck, she's one of the good guys. Did you dream about her?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What was it?"  
  
"That night I said I turned into you and I was invisible."  
  
"Is this the first time you dreamed of her?"  
  
"No. The longer I was out of cryo, the more bits and pieces I'd remember. Most of it was of you, us, and then I started getting images of a faceless dark haired woman. I thought maybe she was a figment of my imagination or something. Like maybe one of the people I killed."  
  
"No, Buck. She's real. Joan is very real and very much alive."   
  
"And still young?"  
  
"Yeah. She's been young for a long time.She's actually older than you and be combined."  
  
"Damn."  
  
"You need a minute?"  
  
Bucky nods his head only once. Steve waits.   
  
"She single?"  
  
"Buck." Steve chuckles.   
  
"What? She's pretty. And I got these. . . feelings."  
  
"It's alright. When I was thawed out I had feelings from back then too. It was kinda like just falling asleep and waking up, and while I was the same, everything else had changed."  
  
"For Peggy?"  
  
"Who else?"   
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"It's not fair. This isn't how it should be. You deserved time with her."  
  
"I know. You should've had your time with Joan too. But like Jaydn says, good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people cause the universe does whatever it wants."  
  
"Who's Jaydn?"   
  
"Jaydn is Joan's real name. Because she ages so slowly, she'd had to take a few names over the decades to blend in. We knew her as Joan McNaughton. Back in World War I, she was Bonnie Smith, and even before then she was Debbie Vasquez, Robyn McGarrett, and more. Jaydn is the name she's consistently used on and off the over a century."   
  
"Jaydn." Bucky breathes in deeply and sighs as he rubs his hands through his hair and sighs. "Joan is Jaydn, she's alive and well and is a mutant. I got all that right?"  
  
"Spot on."   
  
"Is she one of those friends you plan on calling?"  
  
"I've already called her."  
  
"I feel a but coming on."  
  
"A few years ago mutants became public knowledge. Since then it's been cold war. Lynching on both sides, experimentation, murder, extortion." Now it's Steves turn to sigh. "Those Accords are for people like me and the Avengers. They're tried to "cure" mutants but that turned out to be an inhibitor created from a mutant with the ability to cancel out other mutants abilities. When that failed they tried passing a registration like the Accords but for mutants. So far, Jaydn's beaten the warmongers off with sticks. Now that the Accords are being discussed, mutants have heated up again. We talked and both agreed it was best for her to stay out of it or everything she's worked for mutants will go town the toilet."  
  
"She knows I'm alive?" Steves expression turns sour when Bucky asks this.  
  
"She thinks you're a clone."  
  
"Clone? Why would she think that?"  
  
"HYDRA has had the cloning process for decades and every year they get better at it. Jaydn's met some of her clones and they are, in her words, "unstable to say the least and are like as if HYDRA pulled together all the bad parts of me into one person." DNA in our blood can survive for decades. I've given her everything I had on you that Tasha got from HYDRA, but her believing it is another thing. We haven't discussed it in a while. We've all been busy."  
  
"When was the last time you heard from her?"  
  
"Remember that helping hand that got us out of the sticky situation between the authorities and the airport? That was some of her friendlies. They're humans that view mutants as equals and have no prejudice against them."  
  
"That's a lot of strings to pull."  
  
"She's got strings everywhere. I'm amazed she remembers it all." Steve hums in his sigh. "She thinks war is coming."  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"I think she might be right. The Avengers have disbanded. SHEILD has been revealed to be HYDRA. We're both in the wind and Tony's turning on his teammates. I plan on calling her today."  
  
"You're going to ask her to join in, aren't you?"  
  
"I've got no options. Right now it's just you and me. Stark has everyone else locked up in that prison of his. We got very little weapons and no back up. With things as they are, mutants are being dumped from the fire pan and into the fire with us."  
  
"Is that your phone or mine?"  
  
They both go racing to our rooms to catch it. It's Steves.   
  
"Hey Jaydn, I was gonna-" He pauses and Bucky can hear someone on the other side telling him to turn on the TV.   
  
"Is that her?"  
  
"It's her daughter."  
  
"Daughter? Mine?"  
  
"No. Victors. It was long before we were even born."   
  
He turns on the TV and flips it over to the news.   
  
"What am I looking at?" Steve puts her on speaker.   
  
_"They're calling it M-Day. They got some new fangled shit to target mutants. This here was done in western New York. They've shut down the border into Canada. It's like that inhibitor in an aerosol form and now it comes with side effects. Gina thinks they tried to make a synthetic replica of Leeches natural serum."_  
  
"Casualties?"  
  
_"Still working on it. This is still a live feed."_  
  
"It couldn't have happened more than 20 or 30 minutes ago."  
  
_"It's UC 3."_  
  
"Wha't UC 3?"  
  
_"Who's that?"_  
  
"Bucky Barnes. UC is Underground City 3. As America was growing, Jaydn was building undergrounds."  
  
_"Bucky Barnes? As in James Barnes?"_  
  
"None other. Have you heard anything about me?"  
  
_"There's a page dedicated to you in my mothers book of dead lovers."_  
  
"She's got a whole book?"  
  
_"My mother is very old. Have you spoken to her yet?"_  
  
"No. Haven't you?"  
  
_"No. She went to D.C. and hasn't been back yet. That was two days ago. She called, said everything_  
 _was turning to shit. Birdy says things are falling into place. This time next year we could be in Elle."_   
  
"What?"  
  
"Extinction Level Event. E.L.E."   
  
_"You said you were going to call her? Where are you?"_  
  
"We're in New York. Maybe a days time away from UC 3."  
  
_"I suggest a breather. There's no telling how far this shit will drift or how it might affect you. If you get into contact with her, let me know. I can't get ahold of anyone and it's pissing me off. I gotta go. Bye Steve."_  
  
"Bye Astrid."  
  
"Daughter?"   
  
"Yes. Astrid. She was born after the Civil War."  
  
"Remind me again when that was?"  
  
"1865? 1866? Somewhere in there. Lets go find a friendly."  
  
"How we gonna do that? And why?"  
  
"So we can get a face mask in case we're not immune to whatever that is." He says pointing at the TV. "Then we're going to head towards her school and wait there. It'll be safe and we need to talk to her."  
  
Bucky can feel his skin heating up and his heart beating faster. Anxiety is setting in as questions run through his head.   
  
_What if she doesn't remember me?_   
**Of course not. You're not memorable. It's also been 70 years.**   
_Will she still love me? Does she?_   
**No. She doesn't love you, idiot. She's moved on with her life and away from you.**  
_What if I've changed too much?_   
**Changed too much? We're someone else entirely!**  
_After everything I've done, what if she hates me?_  
**Of course she hates you. Nobody likes you.**   
  
"What-cha thinking?"  
  
"What if she hates me?"  
  
"She won't hate you."  
  
"She thinks I'm a clone. What if she doesn't see me? I'm real, aren't I?"  
  
"Yes, Bucky. You're real. You are not a clone. There's no evidence of that. None. Bucky!" Steve grasps him by the shoulders. "You are real. You trust me, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"YOU are real. Don't forget that. Say it."  
  
"I'm real."  
  
"That's right. You're real. She'll see it once she sees you again. I'm sure of it. She's not used to people coming back from the dead, so to speak. She just needs to see you, is all."  
  
"But what if-"  
  
"No buts. No what ifs. You are James Bucky Barnes. Now lets buck up."  
  
"Funny."  
  
"I thought so."  
____________________________________________________________________  
A/N: This is another version of the original that I had been posting on FF.net and got very little response. I'm hoping to receive more response here. Reviews make my day! I wanna hear it you like it, if you think it sucks, and I wanna hear what you'd like to see since I've got a million ideas and I'm so very indecisive. My biggest idea is a Stucky/OC menais a toi, but I really see Bucky as a heterosexual so I'm debating on a Bucky/Jaydn/Steve menais a toi where they're like brother husbands. My end game is Bucky/Jaydn, so do I break Steves heart? IDEAS PEOPLE< HELP ME! Thank-you for reading. I hope ya'll enjoyed it.   
  
PS: I'm new to this website and I'm hoping as time goes on that this will come out as I have it written in Wordpad. Please, bear with me. 


	2. Chapter 2: OMG PT. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaydn & Bucky meet for the first time since 1945. 
> 
> A/N: I wasn't satisfied with it so it took me longer than the week I had hoped for. I hope ya'll enjoy it. I'll be posting part 2 in the same day.

**Chapter 2**   
**Bucky POV**

  
We find a friendlies place by a symbol on their mailbox, store, building, whatever. The way Steve talks about their being a mutants friendly makes me think they're more like servants. Or slaves.  
He says it's nothing like that. It's for their safety. When a friendly is associated with a mutant, especially one such as Joan, it makes people think twice about harming them.  
Jaydn. Jaydn. I have to remember her name isn't Joan. So far I'm doing a pretty good job of that, I think.  
  
"Thanks again."  
  
"Friends of Jaydn are friends of mine."  
  
He's a pack rat. But everything in here is weapons or stuff from a time I don't recall.  
  
"How'd you meet her?"  
  
"Vietnam."  
  
"When was that?"  
  
He looks at me like I grew an extra head.  
  
"He's got amnesia. Not everything is clear to him."  
  
"Late 70s."  
  
"How did you meet?"  
  
"I was a POW."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And what? You want the whole damn story? She killed everyone in the camp but the POWs. The end."  
  
"Sorry. It was stupid of me to ask."  
  
"If people don't know, they ask. Sharing isn't my thing and I don't think Jaydn would be thrilled about me telling it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause she don't like it. These humans think mutants are the problem and they've no idea what kinda grave they're digging. They keep pushing, she's gonna push back and you two are gonna have front row seats in the splash zone. Just cause she don't like it, don't mean she's gonna do nothing. Now get out. I wanna take a nap."  
  
Cause you're drunk as hell. This whole place needs to be aired out and he can use a shower.  
  
"Thank-you."  
  
He just waves at Steve.  
  
"Is this her?"  
  
Donny comes over and picks the frame up. It's a cheap fake gold plated frame, but it serves its purpose.  
  
"Yeah. That was taken in some village, I don't remember the name of it. They were occupied by American troops. It was the last time I saw her over there."  
It's kinda blurry, like, grainy. The background is all open sky and the ground is muddy.  
  
"I thought it was weird. Women weren't in combat back then. There weren't even many out there as nurses and doctors. Then I saw what she could do and it made sense."  
  
"Did you take this?"  
  
"Yeah. One of the guys had a camera on him. He died so I took it with me. I figured, the pictures might be worth something to someone, and he had a girl back home."  
Her hair isn't long. It's shoulder length. She's half facing the camera but her head is turned looking the other way. Green trousers and an olive green shirt, the sleeves gone and the end has been tied in the back because it's too long. Her weapon of choice is a rifle.  
  
"I'll tell her you said hi. C'mon Buck, we're burning daylight."  
  
"If women weren't allowed in the field, why was she there? How'd they allow it?" I ask Steve as we leave the packrats house.  
  
"It wouldn't be the first time posing as a pretty man to join the army. She was a WASP until someone sabotaged her plane and then she just went back into the field and as Victor would say, show 'em how it's done."  
  
"Victor?"  
  
Is that her boyfriend? No, can't be. He'd be dead by now. Much like I should be.  
  
"Creed."  
  
"She knows Sabretooth?"  
  
"They're old friends. Civil War old friends."  
  
"Holy shit."  
  
"Yeah. She said she met Victor and Logan when they were both teenagers. She was already an adult."  
  
Donnys mini van is a combination of red and white. The doors aren't original. There's a big rusted part on the back that has had some work done, but never finished. It starts right up and we're on our way. He gave it to us cause he "doesn't need it anymore." And said we might wanna fill up the tank. He doesn't remember the last time he did it or if the fuel is even good enough to go.  
  
"So she was in the Civil War?"  
  
"Every war on American soil, she was there."  
  
"And Asia?"  
  
"Vietnam, yeah, but she didn't go to Korea. She was in France during the Revolution in, I think she said 1790? Or 1890? No, no, it had to be 1790 cause it was before the American Civil War."  
  
"She doesn't belong there. I fail to see how that is funny."  
  
"Bucky, Jaydn is ancient. She's from the time when wars were fought with spears and the bow and arrow. She had PTSD before there was a term for PTSD. It's one reason how I know you're gonna be okay meeting her. Anything you do, it's not gonna scare her off like you think it will."  
  
"I wish I was as sure of that as you are."  
  
"When I got thawed out, she was there. Fury brought her in and she's been there since. She moved from one side of the state to the other so she could help me adjust to modern times. When I had nightmares, we talked. When I had flashbacks, we talked. She'd sleep in the same bed like you and me used to, and when I had violent episodes," His smile is bitter.  
  
"The first time I was so afraid she was just going to walk away. She didn't. I hit her and she stayed. I couldn't even sleep in the same room with her after that. I started sleeping on the couch because she refused to leave my room and y'know what she does?"  
  
"Drags you back to bed?"  
  
"No. She flopped on me and said this couch isn't big enough for the both of us. I thought I got my bed back and it was just a ploy to get me in there so I'd be comfortable. She wasn't even afraid of me."  
  
I don't now if that's Joa- Jaydn, Jaydn or not. I remember her face and how she was always barefoot when she could be. She loved the beach. Her favorite flowers are lilacs and iris. She would eat aw fish and say it's delicious, but she never got sick from it like a normal person would.  
She feels important to me but not like the same way Steve's important to me. I think maybe we were more than friends. The dreams I've had about her, oh my god, the dreams always had me waking up sad and confused or hard. That last dream I had it certainly seemed to be that way but what the hell do I know anymore?  
  
"Was she my girl?"  
  
Steve grins. "You kiddin' me?"  
  
"I just need to know. For sure. Was she?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"How'd we meet?"  
  
"You had a job working down at the docks. One day, she was down there swimming and causin' trouble. The first time either of us saw her she was walking through the dock in a bathing suit with a towel over her shoulder and your jaw was on the floor.  
  
"A few days later we ran into her at a bar where she waitressed. You oogled her all night. We went back the next night and got to see her beat a guy with her tray for grabbing her. We didn't actually meet her until she kicked some kids punk ass,"  
Language.  
  
"For picking on a kid with polio. You were all, I'm gonna ask that girl out! And you did. It only took ya two darn weeks. Longest record ever."  
  
"And?"  
  
"She said she didn't date playboys and you just stood there like this," He puts on a dumbfounded expression. "I think what got her was your persistence. You asked her out for coffee, you asked her out to drink, to Coney Island, to the beach, for ice cream, the theater, and she always said no. Over the course of you bugging her, we all became friends. I'm not exactly sure when you two became more than that."  
  
"Me neither. It kinda feels like I've known her forever. Like I've known you forever."  
  
"You have known me forever. Jaydn just has that effect on people or it might be your memory trying to fix itself. I like that you're asking questions. Don't ever think you can't ask me."  
  
"I know I can. I just don't know how sometimes."  
  
"It's alright. We'll get through it." He assures me and then grins. "Y'know, you were even jealous of me once."  
  
"Oh yeah? Now this you really gotta refresh my memory."  
  
"You know how I was always drawing?"  
  
"Yeah.  
  
"Most of my supplies came from her. Sketchbooks with high grade paper and pencils of all kinds. It was just little stuff but it was also before you two were going steady and it was like a huge deal to you. It blew up when I asked you for your half of the rent money and you just lost it and were all like, why don't you go live with Joan! Her house is nicer! With more food! And your pencils! And the rent is always paid!" And you stormed out madder than a wet hen. It wasn't long after that you and Jaydn were going steady and she was makin' an honest fella outta ya."  
  
"Sounds sweet. Too bad I don't remember it."  
  
"Just give it time. The more you're away from HYDRA, the more your mind will sort itself out and I'm here. Jaydn will be here. And she's got friends qualified to help with this kinda thing."  
  
"A shrink."  
  
"Yeah. I didn't like seeing one either but he's not too bad. He's a veteran himself so it's not like we're too different. He really gets it. I think you'd like him."  
  
"Don't go making appointments for me, Steve. I don't want to go."  
  
"Then don't go. It was just a suggestion."  
  
It's a few days time before we reach Jaydns school in middle New York. My anxiety is at an all time high but I'm still lucid. Good.  
  
You're fine. You're surrounded by kids. We don't kill kids.  
  
I've noticed I've been doing that. Talking like we but there's only one of me. Or is he talking to me?   
I don't know.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"It's still early. If Jaydn's back from DC, this is where she'll be. She's got a small private place for herself. Her senses are so high she describes the school as overwhelming sometimes when she tries to sleep." He knocks and gets no answer.  
When the screaming starts we both bolt in. She's screaming at the TV.  
  
"That was not what I said! You're taking me out of context you pig fucker!"  
  
"Jaydn!"  
  
She just about jumps out of her skin.  
  
"Don't demolish the TV. It's not his fault DC is being stupid." He picks up the remote from the coffee table and she doesn't budge. With it off the house is completely silent. "Jaydn." His hand waves across in front of her face and her eyes flick over to him. "Your aggression is showing."  
She stands up straighter and both hands fidget like I do when I try to hide my metal hand.  
  
"Do you two wanna be alone? Can I trust you alone with him?"  
  
Her response is one I'm not expecting and when her teeth click at him, I flinch. Steve gave me a brief run down of feral mutants. None of it makes sense to me.  
  
She's been categorizing them for a long time and from what he can tell, they tend to mimic a certain species of animal. This mimicry can be something like creating poisons and toxins, or having senses (hearing, sight,) like a wolf or a jungle cat, and it can even go as far as affecting personality. This can include growling, scenting, and being territorial.  
  
He gave me all the warning signs that might give away when one of them is being aggressive or planning on attacking you. Excessive eye contact without any expression, check. Are the claws out? Yep. This is going great.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you just saying that to get me out of the way."  
  
Her brow arches and now she seems amused. "Steve, you and I both know if that's what I wanted, I would've done it by now. The claws are out because you two barged in here. You don't run up on a feral like that."  
  
"You were screaming."  
  
"At the TV."  
  
"Well how were we supposed to know that? What if someone was in here hurting you!"  
  
"Because I don't scream and it would be the other way around."  
  
I can't imagine the Joan I know- the woman I think I know- hurting someone. She looks like her, she sounds like her, but I don't know. Something's different. Is it because I know her secret? That she's a mutant? That still blows my mind. People with abilities that back in the day was just some science fiction comic.  
  
Her hair is long and braided back, little pieces springing free and curling in the humidity that is August.  
  
"Have you changed your mind yet? Or are you set in your ways?"  
  
"Oh, i'm set in my ways. Make no mistake about that. Changing ones mind though, that can be done. Bug has given me documentation on him since they picked him up."  
  
"You're shaking."  
  
"Anxiety. I'm used to outliving my lovers. This . . . usually it's be coming back from the dead, so to speak. You're sure about him?"  
  
"Positive. He hasn't exhibited any of that."  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"Remember when I said Jaydn met a few clones of herself? They each had their own personality, more or less. Their behavior was noted in the scientists observation of them. Whatever, it doesn't matter cause you're not a clone. Now I'm going to step outside and you two are gonna talk. You," Steve points at her, "No biting, no clawing, and no mind fucking."  
  
"I'm many things, but a telepath is not one of them."  
  
"You can't play innocent with me, Jay. I know better. You're old enough to know human behavior and psychology to mess with someone. Just mentioning to him that you thought he was a clone made him question himself. We're not going to do that again, now are we?"  
  
"Don't give me that tone or the only person getting bit is you."  
Steve grins in response. "Remember, I'm right out side."  
  
"Ooh, I'm terrified."  
  
"If you weren't shaking, I'd believe that. Besides, after all the stunts you've pulled in the past, consider this karma."  
  
"They had it comin'."  
  
"And you don't?"  
  
"Shove it, Steven."  
  
He closes the sliding glass door and sits in the patio chair with his back to us.  
Barefoot, that's normal. Her eyes keep raking over me and her advance is slow.  
  
"It's me. Really."  
  
"I've realized that. It's just difficult." Her eyes become focused where she's eye level with my chest.   
  
"I went through those mountains and I found nothing. After so long I figured maybe there was an avalanche," She leans forward and touches her forehead to my chest and sighs. She's still shaking when she grasps my bicep and turns her head to rub her cheek across my chest. Steve calls it scenting. Like a cat rubbing their face on you.  
  
"They're HYDRA. They're slippery bastards. There's no way you could have known. I don't remember everything clearly so I don't even know for sure where they kept me those first years."  
I wrap my arm around her and hers naturally wrap around me. This feels familiar. Like when Steve hugs me but different.  
  
"Don't do that, please. I don't know how to react." I don't know what to do with crying people.  
  
"Then don't react. But if you tell anyone, I'll deny it and be forced to kill you." She jokes.  
  
The shakes have left and she is relaxed against me.  
  
"I wouldn't breathe too deeply. It's been a while since I showered."  
  
"You don't hear me gagging, do you? I always liked your natural scent. It's been so long, I forgotten it."  
  
"Why didn't you ever tell me? That you're a . . ."  
  
"Mutant."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Because it always ends badly. As time went on, it became increasingly rare that they accepted it without trying to kill me or profit from my abilities. Part of you knew. Steve too. Ya'll just never asked and I didn't tell." She breathes in deeply and takes a step back. "It was also never my intention to get close to you. I was there for Stark."  
  
"To kill him?"  
  
"To learn from him. Science was making leaps and bounds again. I was there to keep up with the changes."  
  
"I killed him."  
  
Why did you say that?  
  
**Because you're an idiot.**  
  
"I know."  
  
"You don't hate me?"  
  
"That was you physically, nothing more. I know you wouldn't willingly do it without being influenced. Everything you've done was HYDRA, not you."  
  
"But I did it."  
  
"Was not. And don't argue with me on it. You might have amnesia on yourself but my memory of you is crystal clear. I know what you would and wouldn't do. Does this hurt?"  
  
"Nothing I can't handle."  
  
"That is not what I asked."  
  
"A little."  
  
"I have the people and the technology to make a new one. If you want one." Her head tilts. "It would be for you. You can do with it what you want."  
  
"It's just . . . that was a big part of him. I don't want that part coming back."  
  
"It doesn't work that way. He's part of you now wheither you want him there or not. The sooner you accept that the easier it will be to get control of things."  
  
"Are you shrinking me?"  
  
"No. I speak from experience. I was born with my abilities but not with the know how to control them right from the start. I needed practice. People got hurt because I did not have that control yet. I'm also no stranger to amnesia. The only differences is my amnesia is mostly due to head injury and I remember everything from the time I wake up with amnesia to the time I return to the present. What I do in that time isn't always good but there's no changing it. It is what it is, and accepting you can't change it is part of moving on. The only place you got left is to go forward."  
  
"Mostly?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Mostly due to head injury. What about the rest?"  
  
"The memory can only hold so much. In about a centuries time, I get a kind of Alzheimers because there's simply too much in my memory. I keep journals for better accuracy. Do you have one?"  
  
"I did. It was taken by agents. I'm not even sure if they were SHIELD or CIA or what, but it's gone."  
  
"So start another. It'll help."  
  
"Thing is, I don't trust what I remember is real or accurate."  
  
"Steve and I aren't just here for decoration."  
  
"You're here now?"  
  
"If you need me."  
  
"I think so."  
  
"I'll poke around and see if I can find it."  
  
"You don't have to do that."  
  
"It's yours, not theirs. And I don't want them sticking their nose in your business."  
  
"Thank-you."  
  
"You can thank me when I find it."  
  
"Oh, I will. So what you been up to for the past 70 years?"  
  
"After you died, I went to France till 1950-something. Segregation fun, the 60s was a pot-filled haze with Victor."  
  
"Creed."  
  
"Yeah." Her head picks up off my chest to look at me. "What's Steve been telling you?"  
  
"Nothing much. Just that you eventually moved on. There was Victor before me and Wade after me, and you've got a whole nother life I never knew about."  
"I hope you're not trying to guilt trip me. I've a thousand years of experience in how my lovers react to me being a mutant. I've had husbands try to kill me in my sleep. I've no regret about how I went about things. If you were still in the gray about it, I could walk away and we'd both still be alive and safe. I'm not the only mutant around, Buck. It would've been exposing more than just myself. Do you need to sit down?"  
  
"Yeah. You lost be back at husbands."  
  
"Ages ago. Your grandparents parents weren't even born yet."  
  
"A thousand years?"  
  
"That's a bit inaccurate."  
  
"You're younger?"  
  
"Older."  
  
She smiles at my expression and the unintelligent huh? I just let out.  
  
"If my timeline of events is accurate, I'm somewhere around 2500 years old."  
  
"Jesus."  
  
"No. I didn't meet him. I visited that part of the world at an earlier time. Had a shit time and never went back."  
  
"But there was a Jesus, right?"  
  
"So I heard. Whether or not he was real and not a mutant or just crazy is still a question mark."  
  
"What makes you think I'd react that badly?"  
  
"Because history said so. Majority of them lost their shit and more than half of those that lost their shit, also tried to kill me. The odds were not in my favor and I rather you be alive and pissed, than dead."  
  
"You'd have killed me?"  
  
"Someone tries to smother you in your sleep, what is your reaction?"  
I breathe in deeply. "Kill 'em."  
  
"Um-hm. And because I'm female, most think I'd not follow through with stop that or I'll kill you."  
  
"I don't like it, but there's nothing we can do about it now so lets just go back to the 60s. You did pot?"  
  
"Did? Hun, I get blitzed on a weekly basis these days. It's calm the fuck down or set everything on fire." She flops on the sofa so hard it takes a skip backwards. "Problem is, y'know how you can't get drunk? I need to be in a field of hemp while it's on fire to get a buzz that lasts."  
  
"Sucks, doesn't it?"  
  
"I managed to get drunk once back in prohibition. In the 1920s."  
  
"Moonshine?" I sit next to her.  
  
"All day. And I do mean all day."  
  
"How'd that end?"  
  
"I woke up naked in a field and Victor thought it was hilarious. Also a new urban legend was born in Tennessee, of a feral raccoon girl that attacks campers and steals their chocolate." We both laugh about it.  
  
"So you were with Victor then too?"  
  
"We reconnected about that time. The thing about us immortals is we kinda circle and gravitate towards one another, like planets around the sun. It's also kinda nice knowing 50 years from now, someone you know will still be around. We're not a thing anymore if that's what you're wondering."  
  
"Steve seems to think so."  
  
"Victor . . . his beginning was not good. His upbringing was not good. And as time went on he went from one time of war to the next. There was no word for PTSD in 1779, but he's pretty much had it since then."  
  
"Shit."  
  
"Yes. Shit."  
  
"Steve says you got it too. I don't . . . remember much of the 40s, but I remember you never had nightmares."  
  
"Remember that amnesia I mentioned? That happens about every century? As a WASP I saw no combat, and working in a factory I saw no combat. After 1865, it was a lot harder to pass as a pretty young man. It had been a long time since those days when we last met. It tends to rear it's ugly head when I think about it or sometimes something random can bring it out. The mind's a weird thing like that."  
  
She's sitting with one leg pulled up under the other and is facing me, her arm over the back and head resting against her hand. Staring at me.  
  
"Why did you join the army back then? You didn't have to."  
  
"I was . . . disturbed."  
  
"So you pose as a man to legally kill people?"  
  
"1779 was the Independance War, America was born. Before then whites showed up and ruined my peoples way of life and made us extinct. Wouldn't you be angry?"  
  
"So you helped them gain their independance?"  
  
"I took a birds advice."  
  
"You talk to animals? That sounds crazy."  
  
She smiles. "No! I'm no DoLittle, I'm not an animal telepath. I call seers birds."  
  
"Seers?"  
  
"Precogs. Um, people that can see the future."  
  
"There's fortune tellers that are real?"  
  
"Where do you think fortune tellers began?" She smirks. "A lot of circus folk were mutants. Carnivals too."  
  
"You ever been in one?"  
  
"A few."  
  
"And the 70s?"  
  
"Vietnam. Team X."  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Mutants only team lead by the secretary of defense, William Stryker. The team disbanded in 1988. Stryker still isn't dead, that slimy piece of shit. I was with Wade from 1980 to 1988."  
  
"He didn't leave with you? Or was it the other way around?"  
  
"Stryker had gone to Wade with the promise of a cure. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. Wade stayed because we knew Stryker knew how to graph mutant DNA into a human, and was going to use Logan's healing factor to cure Wades cancer. It was also the same year he was cloned. The clone was killed and shown to me as proof he was dead but reality was Stryker had moved him to a facility I had no knowledge of, and he became one of the millions of mutants experimented on."  
  
"Steve told me you said he used to be normal."  
  
"Normal? I don't think Wade and normal even go in the same sentence, but yeah. He was put in isolation and what human interaction he got was abusive and painful. Eventually the facility went under and he got out, but he had also lost his memory. All of it was gone. If it weren't for the dog tags, he wouldn't have known his own name."  
  
"That's . . informative. And the 90s?"  
  
"Not bad."  
  
"After 2000?"  
  
"Laughing at all the boobs that thought the world was going to end. I did that again in 2013. Where were you after The Bridge?"  
  
"Romania. What can you do?"  
  
"I'm one of the more rare mutants with an expanding ability. That means as time continues, my abilities become more and more broad and I've gained some over the years."  
  
"You're being vague."  
  
"I'm an animorph. It's a shapeshifter whose ability is limited to that of an animal."  
  
"So you're a what?"  
  
"Most people can change into one animal or several animals of the same species, such as K9s, felines, reptiles and so on. My ability is broad. If I've seen it, I can take it's shape whether it be mammal, bird, fish or reptile."  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Anything else? Or is that and a long lifespan it?"  
  
"My regeneration is hyperactive. It's one reason why I'm so old."  
  
"You look mighty fine for your age."  
  
"Still a charmer." She puts a hand on my chest and playfully pushes. "I'm also an elemental. That's a category with many subdivisions but there are some of us that are capable of manipulating air, water, fire and earth."  
  
"Manipulating air? Now you're pulling' my leg."  
  
"Not my strongest area. Of the four my strength lies in fire. I've an extreme form of pyrokinesis that's known as The Human Torch."  
  
"Can you show me?"  
  
Her hand raises and from the elbow to fingers, is on fire.  
  
"Imagine that covering all of me."  
  
"Jesus."  
  
"You can call me Jaydn."  
  
"Ego much?"  
  
"I ruled Egypt for 150 years. They considered their rulers as gods. It's why they built such monuments of them."  
  
"What?"  
  
"150 years, I was queen of Egypt. It was a mad long time ago, but I was revered as an earth-bound goddess because of my immortality, ability to manipulate water and make the fields bloom. I'll show you my archives sometime."  
  
"Archives? Like at the Smithsonian?"  
  
"No. Personal archives."  
  
"And for the past 10 years you've been doing what?"  
  
"Nothing much. Until recently. Mutants have only been public knowledge for the past few years and it's been nothing but a shitfest."  
  
"I heard that language."  
  
"I thought we were having a moment alone."  
  
"I have to make lemonade."  
  
"What? Lemonaid can wait."  
  
"No it can't." Steve sings as he disappears into the kitchen.  
  
"The bathroom's off the kitchen. Making lemonaid a euphemism for pee."  
  
"Oh. Good one. How's Steve been? I hear you two been sleeping together." I grin at her expression.   
  
"In the same bed."  
  
"You jerk." She pushes my arm. "Yeah, we've slept in the same bed. It helps."  
  
"Fondu."  
  
She gets my joke and begins giggling. When Steve comes back through, he pauses.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"You want some fondu, Steve?" Her question is so nonchalant that it takes a second for him to get it.  
  
"Oh god! You're never gonna let that go! Either of you!"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"And I meant like chocolate or cheese. Or we can do both. Steve can be chocolate, you and be cheese, and I'll be the fruit."  
  
"I don't like boys."  
  
"I would surely hope not!"  
  
"It's sick humor. You said boys, not males or men, which implies you're a creeper."  
  
I push her arm. "You know better."  
  
"I do. Doesn't stop me from blurting out what ever comes to mind." She moans as she stretches.   
  
"I'm hungry. You guys hungry?"  
  
"Starving. What-cha makin'? Or are you two still talking?"  
  
"I think we got some of the more important parts covered for now. I could eat a cow."  
  
"Sorry, don't have any. I haven't been here long so I think everything is either boxed, spoiled or ancient and I wouldn't trust it."  
  
"When did you get back?"  
  
"This place is closer to DC so I've been coming here instead of going to Maine." She explains as she leads into the kitchen. "And I got back yesterday. As tempted as I am to just stay in DC, I don't trust they won't try to Kennedy my ass." She opens the fridge and we all get the smell of rotten perishables.  
  
"On the other hand, that is tempting."  
  
"Joan! Don't talk like that."  
  
"She's not suicidal. She's homicidal. Jaydn's survived being shot in the head before. That's a terrible idea. Unless you're aiming to start war."  
  
"We've been at war for years. The only difference is it's being fought between civilians while suits sit behind their nicely polished desks and ignore and forget how the real world works." She's dumping everything from the fridge into a bin with no bag in it. "And then we got shady as fuck people like HYDRA and Friends of Humanity running around. A cult here, a cult there, damn things are popping up everywhere. Can you set that outside?"  
  
"Do you want it in the heap?"  
  
"If you wanna take that walk, sure."  
  
"Heap?"  
  
"Compost."  
  
She gets a bowl of soapy water and watching her manipulate it is like watching Wanda work her magic. Speaking of,  
  
"Do you know where the others are? Stark's built himself an underwater prison."  
  
"The Raft. I'm aware."  
  
"Does he know where you are?"  
  
"Doubt it. Ever since Jarvis had been compromised, Bug has been all up in his business. Like a kid on Christmas. When we have layout of the prison, Steve and I are gonna go get them and ya'll are going to be moved off American shores to Wakanda."  
  
"T'Challa's from there. But you know that don't you?"  
  
"I've been a family friend of T'Challa's family for a very long time. I know you're iffy about him, but he's reasonable and not blind like Tony is. You'll be safe there."  
  
"Your disgusting bin. Your compost looks like a bunch of horse manure."  
  
"It's supposed to." She climbs up onto the sink and begins looking through cupboards. "2013. Eww." And drops it on the floor.  
  
"How's Bug coming along with those blueprints? I still say we should just-"  
  
"Just what? This prison is built similar to a sub. Have you ever been on a sub?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Can you breathe under water?"  
  
"Can you?" Steves retort is met with her smiling. "I walked right into that, didn't I?"  
  
"Yes, you did. Now, when a sub becomes compromised, y'know what happens? You sink. And since you're already in the ocean a few hundred miles, guess how many people are going to survive by making it to the top? The Raft is fitted more with technology than it is people. There's too much room for error so you sir," She points at him, "are gonna hold your ass and not do something stupid or so help me, I'll drown you myself."  
  
Steve just grins. "You drown me? You're so tiny. Are you gonna have help?"  
  
"Seeing as she can control water, I don't think she's gonna need much help. But I gotta agree with her. You'll be going in blind into an under water prison designed to keep people in it. The last thing I want is you getting captured."  
  
"Same here. Eww, guess what year this ones from?"  
  
"2010?"  
  
"2005. Spaghetti, noodles, beef cubes." She moves around the counter and picks up the wash cloth in the sink with her toes, and then gives the cupboards a sweep out with it.  
  
"Any sauce? We always loved spaghetti."  
  
"I don't remember that."  
  
"Once you taste it you will."  
  
"Oh hey, cookies." She brings out a container. "Best before 2007, We're gonna have to go to the main house."  
  
"You sure about that?"  
  
"If you don't want to, then I'll drag Steve and we'll bring some stuff back."  
  
"Okay. I just . . . crowds and me, I know they're kids but, we're not good together anymore. And having only one arm will just scare them."  
  
"You'd be surprised. Kids aren't as naive as people think. And I won't make you go but it is gonna cost ya."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hugs and kisses, Buck. It's Jaydns currency. Ya spooked him."  
  
"He's always been like a baby deer."  
  
"I am not like a baby deer."  
  
"Have you ever seen a baby deer?"  
  
"I'm not a baby deer."  
  
"Or a raccoon."  
  
"What?"  
  
"With the winder soldier make up on your eyes."  
  
"It's not make up. It's war paint."  
  
"Whatever, white boy. It was runny mascara."  
  
"Ooh!" I tickle her side. "Go get our lunch. Steve, give the lady a hand."  
  
"A hand huh?"  
  
"Amputee jokes, Jaydn, really?" Steve puts his hands on his hips.  
  
"Yes, Steve." She puts her hands on her hips. "Because he walked right in to it."  
  
"I guess I did, didn't I? Don't forget the garlic bread."  
  
"Yes sergeant."  
  
. . . TBC . . .


	3. Chapter 3: OMG Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaydn drops a bomb on Bucky.

**Chapter 3**   
**. . . Continued . . .**

  
I take the opportunity to snoop. There's pictures on the wall in the living room. Some go back to the days of polaroids and even farther back to the cracked black and white pictures with serious faces.   
  
There's only a few with her in them. There's a polaroid picture of some guy asleep, hugging a pillow. Brown hair, tan skin, I don't recognize him and this is the only picture of him. There's one of Deadpool and a little raven haired girl with pasty white skin.   
  
There's a surprise picture taken of Victor Creed. He's leaning back in a chair, beer in one hand, and he's actually fucking smiling.   
  
"No, no! Aw, my strawberries." They fell right off the mountain of stuff she's got in her arms.   
  
"You don't have eight arms."  
  
"I'm a mom. I've got eight arms, four eyes, and no privacy."  
  
She sets the basket on the table and collects the strawberries off the floor and they go directly into the sink for washing.   
  
"Think you got enough?"  
  
"Considering we can all eat our weight, I hope so."  
  
"Are all the people in the pictures your kids?"  
  
"Not all, but many. Gimme a minute and I'll show you who they all are."  
  
I give a soft okay and return to the living room.   
  
"Out!"  
  
"Alright! Jesus. Try to help a woman and she threatens you with a bread knife."  
  
I smile a little at Steve.   
  
"Do you know anyone here?"  
  
"By name and face, yeah. I've met a few of them." He points, "That's Wade."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah. Before the cancer ate his body."  
  
"He's pretty."  
  
He nudges me. "So are you."  
  
"That wasn't queer at all."  
  
"I'm just saying don't sell yourself short. And Jaydn likes a guy with long hair."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah. I think it's a Native thing."  
  
"I can totally hear you. FYI, white boy, Chinese wore their hair long. As did the Japanese, and Europeans and Scandinavians before the rise of Christianity. It's not a Native thing. It's just a thing. And I think the long haired look suits him."   
  
"This is Astrid."  
  
"She looks like him."  
  
Big, strong, and blond and stoic. She introduces me to the five kids she's got with Wade. Wade Jr. whom they all call Junior for sake of sanity. Then came Wesley, Emilie, and the twins Bea and Mark.   
  
"You okay?"  
  
"I just gotta remind myself life continued for you. Emilie looks like neither of you."  
She gasps. "Are you implying I stepped out on him?" Her smile tells me she's messing with me. "I'm messing with you B."  
  
"Yeah. I figured. No. That's not what I meant. I just meant she's so white."  
  
"Emilie has a mutation called vamperism for it's uncanny resemblance to myths of vampires. It's a distinct mutation much like ferals. It's marked by abnormally pale skin, super strength, and hyper speed and regeneration."   
  
"What about the others? Are they all mutants?"  
  
"Yes. And so far the only one that doesn't seem to age is Emilie."  
  
"Did I ever have one? I asked Steve. He said it never came up between you two."  
  
"Steve, can you go watch the stove?"   
  
"Sure."  
  
"I did didn't I?"  
  
"A boy. C'mon, I have some stuff in my safe downstairs."  
  
I take her hand and let her lead me. I'm still adjusting to it. I have a child. One I've never met. One that's probably dead. It's the best and worst news someone could get.   
Down in the cellar she opens up a part of the wall and we go down another flight of stairs and through a thick heavy door. In it is books, books, more books and trinkets of all kinds and trunks covered in dust.   
  
"Is he alive?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Murphys law."  
  
"I don't know what you mean."  
  
"Murphys law is a saying that means whatever bad can go wrong, will." She brings out a scroll. "I managed to track your family line back to Scotland before they shipped to Ellis Island." She pulls it open and there's two generations before my parents and me.   
I'm the oldest of four it appears.   
  
"I only remember Rebecca."  
  
"You two were closer than the others."  
  
"They're still alive?"  
  
"And taken care of."  
  
Scrolled across the paper is my name and a black and white sketch of me and her. There is no family history on her side. Below us is George James Barnes, named after both my father and I. Cause of death is listed as some long medical term I can't pronounce. I let is slide closed and just hold it in my hand.   
  
"What is that?"  
  
"It's a heart defect. The waiting list for doners goes on for miles. Without any siblings, a parent is the next best bet for a match. Eventually he needed a transplant so I gave him mine."  
  
"What? That's not possible."  
  
"For me it is. I'm capable of living without it as long as blood continues to circulate, I'll regenerate. I was a match for him in tissue and blood, but his body rejected it. It happens sometimes. No one has an explanation for it. Astrid wasn't a match, neither was Victor, but Wade was. The problem was, with his cancer, it would've fixed his heart problem and would leave him with cancer. Do you want me to stop?"  
  
I shake my head no.   
  
"So I found one the hard way and he nearly died. It gave him another 12 years. He was 41, had a wee girl, and died in his sleep."  
  
Her arms circle my waist when I wrap my arm around her shoulders and hug her close. She rubs my back and says nothing about me crying on her.   
  
"I didn't want to drop it on you like this. But I wasn't going to lie to you and bring it up later."  
  
"It's okay. I'm okay. It's just . . . given all the shit that's happened to me since . . . was he a good guy?"  
  
"The best."  
  
"You're just saying that."  
  
"Psh. He was half of me and half of you. He's genetically predispositioned to be awesome."  
I laugh softly. "What was he like?"  
  
"A big ol' mamas boy."  
  
"Only cause I wasn't there to spoil him."  
  
"Don't worry about it, B. He grew up alright and if things had been different, you know as well as I do that you would've been there."  
  
"Why so young? If he got the transplant."  
  
"The first successful heart transplant was in December of 1967. Nate's was only a few years later. The procedure was still in it's infancy and with new procedures comes new complications and things unforeseen and not seen before. Considering how long he lived afterwards, he was a favored patient."   
  
The pads of her fingers slide across my cheeks to clean me up.   
  
"He was a stubborn brat just like you."  
  
"He didn't get it all from me. I distinctly remember chasing after you like a dog with a bone. Six months is the longest I've ever waited for a date."  
  
"I had to be sure you didn't have squaw fever."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Squaw fever. It's what Victor calls white guys that like Native girls. It's kinda like yellow fever, which are guys that have fetish for Asian women. Want to see some pictures?"   
  
"If you got any."   
  
"I forget when exactly it was introduced, but by the 60s there were instant color polaroids."   
  
She sweeps the scroll up off the floor and puts it away. When had I dropped it? While she's sifting through the photo albums, I sniff and wipe my cheeks with my shirt.   
Out comes a thin book, brown cover, the corners fraying but the pictures inside are preserved in a protective sheet.   
  
"Everything in there is done by chronological age."   
  
"I gotta sit down."   
  
We sit on the stairs together and she has Viki turn on the lights in the stairwell so I can see better.   
He was born about eight months after I was deployed. She must've been pregnant before I left and didn't know it.   
  
"Don't tell me you went through those mountains pregnant."   
  
She doesn't answer me.   
  
"Joan."  
  
"Bucky."  
  
"Jaydn."  
  
"When people see a pregnant women they're happy and they're not considered a threat. I was also only two months along."  
  
"Only t- do you hear yourself? Stop smiling."  
  
"Bucky, I once lead a battalion while six months pregnant with Carina. Nothing happened. And nothing happened to me then either. Except an unusual craving for vanilla cake with buttercream frosting and brussel sprouts."  
  
I begin laughing. "Oh, god, you kill me. When you said except I immediately thought the worst. Brussel sprouts?"  
  
"Brussel sprouts. I had 'em every which way. Smothered in butter or bacon, in a casserole, which is weird cause I'm not a fan of them. They give me gas."  
I watch him grow in the pictures from a wrinkled little baby to a toddler with big blue eyes and brown hair. There's some of him in the hospital bed in those ugly white gowns, but the thing is, he's always smiling.   
  
"How'd you find a doctor to do the transplant? With you being mutant they would've known right away something was weird about you."  
Her brow arches and she stares at me.   
  
"I don't mean weird. I meant out of the ordinary."  
  
She smiles. "I know what you meant. Mutants often picked occupations where their ability could be used. Telepaths and empaths became shrinks. Seers would be advice consultants. The more bulletproof kind went for the military or other law enforcement. I knew an empath that worked at the hospital. She helped persuade a doctor to do the procedure and keep his mouth shut about me. We falsified the paper work so if anyone looks, his heart came from an organ donor that died at the hospital due to injuries received in a car crash. He had your optimism."   
  
"He looked like me."  
  
"And he was a lady killer. But the lucky one was a nurse."   
  
"Figures. I like a girl in uniform. I recall you wearing it once."  
  
"Girl's gotta eat and white people aren't thrilled about a girl with a bow. Or hunting in the city. You remember that?"  
  
"You did work as a nurse in the army camps, right? That's real?"  
  
"Yes, that's real. I also covered shifts at the hospital when the nurses got sick or whatever. This was his prom. God, I told him that thing was hideous. He said it was hideous but his date liked it. Ooh, I wanted to set her on fire."   
  
I chuckle. "Why?"  
  
"Cause she wasn't good for him. With his heart condition, drugs was a bad idea. Sex could kill him, and she was all about partying. I didn't have to kill her, she did it herself and overdosed."   
  
"How'd he take it?"  
  
"He had a good cry, went to the funeral and the show went on."  
  
"He got that from you."  
  
"Not necessarily. One thing I've noticed with mortals is when reality sets in that you could die in a month, you live life differently. Food tastes better, having an extra glass of wine, taking risks one wouldn't normally take otherwise. It was also about the time he was ogling Christy." She turns the page and points her out.   
  
It's a picture where both of them are oblivious. She's a dirty blond woman in a nurses uniform, standing by his bed, and they're both laughing about something.   
  
"She was the opposite of what he usually went for. Young woman with the hobbies of a grandma, kinda quiet, but if you pissed her off she turned into a monster."  
  
"Sounds like someone I know."  
  
"Nah. I'm a monster 24-7. I just hide it well."   
  
"Bullshit. You're a doll." I turn and kiss her cheek.   
  
"Just wait till you get to know me all over again. This time around you're gonna be exposed to all the growling, the scenting, me being a territorial hagfish and the more violent side of me."  
  
"You're not gonna beat me if I don't throw my socks in the laundry, are ya?"  
  
"Nah. But if you drop a wet towel on the carpet next to the laundry basket, your ass is gonna be my new bongo drum."  
  
I chuckle and turn another page. At the end of the book is his grave. It's a headstone in a cross shape with some other design on it.   
  
"What's the design mean? Or just for show?"  
  
"It's the Celtic cross."  
  
"I don't know what that means."  
  
"Celtic is referred to a group of persons that inhabited the UK before the UK as you know it. They became the Irish, the Scots, Welsh and so on. I figured since your family came from Scotland, Celtic was fitting. It was that or the Iron Maiden thing like he wanted and the cemetery gave me this look." She makes a face like she just smelled something rancid.   
  
"Can we go see it sometime?"  
  
"Of course. He's buried in the same cemetery as your family. When things cool off, we'll go."  
  
"Sounds good. Can I have one of these?"  
  
"I'll make you a copy. The originals stay where I know they're not going to be damaged or lost."  
  
"Good enough for me." I hand her the book and she puts it back.   
  
I run a hand through my hair and rub the back of my neck. I'm feeling sick and I'm not sure if it's because I haven't eaten or I'm all kinds of emotional.   
  
"Was he happy? Y'know, before he, died?"  
  
"I like to think so. He got married and they moved into their own place."  
I take a look around again and notice how old some of this stuff really is. There's a suit of armor that looks like it was made to fit her like a bodice. Helmets lined up on a shelf. Both American and foreign, some that go way back in the day. Next to catch my eye is a shiney gold, I don't know what. Is it supposed to be a necklace?   
  
"What is all this?"  
  
"Memorabilia."  
  
"And that?"  
  
"It's called a Wesekh collar. It's one of the most common piece of jewelry shown in not just history but films featuring Egyptians. The pharaohs wore them and from the Eighteenth Dynasty and on, they were given to officials, dignitaries and soldiers as a mark of honour. This was one of the first pieces of work created for me after being crowned."  
  
"What's with the animal heads?"  
  
"Anubis, god of the dead. Their deities were humanoid with the head of an animal. His was that of a jackal. Ra, their sun god. And this represents life. I was, more or less, immortal, so, god of the dead, god of the sun and the sun is what gave life to everything in the valley,"  
  
"Eternal life. It's not my style but it's nice. How much is it worth?"  
  
"Bucky!"  
  
"You'd be rich as hell, wouldn't you?"  
  
"I'm already loaded so don't you worry about it."  
  
"Good. Cause I ain't got squat. Steve and I are a couple of broke bums."  
She smiles and links arms with me. "C'mon, ya broke bum. Lets go eat before the noodles are soggy. And you're looking like blah. I don't know if it's cause you haven't eaten or if it's the George rollercoaster."  
  
"Both."   
  
"About time. I was wondering if I should've called you up. Everything okay?"  
  
"Okay as can be, I guess. Guess what? I had a boy."  
  
"No. You had a son. I had a boy. I'd pay to see a man give birth."   
Steve and I both laugh. "Whatever. You know what I meant. Smart ass."  
  
"FYI, there is a machine now that can allow men to experience the pain during childbirth. It sends electric impulses through muscle to simulate contractions."   
  
"Who would design that? And why? That's just evil. You hold, I'll plate."  
  
"So you had a son? And you never told me this?" Steve sasses Jaydn just with his stance.   
  
"It never came up and Nate is gone."  
  
"But you told Bucky."  
  
"Yeah. Because Bucky was the father. And he asked. I wasn't going ot lie to his face and then bring it up later. What kinda bitch you think I am?"  
  
"I don't think that. I'd just have liked to had known. He's my best pal so his kids would be-"   
  
"If you say like my kids, I'll kick you."  
  
"Would be like my nieces and nephews since we're practically brothers, is what I was saying. Do you have any pictures?"  
  
"A whole album full of them. Jaydn's gonna make me copies and I'll show you."  
  
"Sounds great."  
  
And for once in a long time, everything is great. It's been a good day. Scary in a good way, but hey, I was a father!   
  
"Do we have grandkids?"  
  
"We do."  
  
"And?"   
  
"Aaaand," She pauses, "Debbie's still alive if you want to meet her. We even got grandbabies."  
  
"How many grandbabies? And when you say grandbabies do you mean babies or kids?"  
  
"Both."  
  
Yes. Today is a good day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets a new arm from OMC. Warnings: talk of teen pregnancy, birth control, abortion. Swearing.

**Chapter 4**

 

When I wake up, I immediately remember where I am. I'm currently nestled between Joan- Jaydn- and Steve. He's laying on his side with his back to me and all I see is his big blond head.   
I think the only reason I'm awake is because my arm has gone numb. I move onto my back and look over to Jaydn. She's belly down with her arms around a pillow.   
  
How is it she and Steve are okay sleeping next to me? What if I woke up and I wasn't myself? I can hear Steves voice in my head colding me for even thinking like that.   
  
Damn this stub for not letting me lay on my other side. When did her clothes come off? I remember her coming to bed in a pair of shorts and a tank top. Now she's in just a sports bra and a pair of undies that look like painted on short shorts.   
  
"Miss Jaydn, is it now nine o'clock. Time to wake up." The AIs voice chimes. After several tries she begins playing loud music that has a screaming guitar.   
  
Her eyes snap open and her head pops up. "No." She moans and shoves her face in the pillow.   
  
"Yes. It is that time again as you put it."   
  
She keeps her face in the pillow and kicks her legs like a kid having a tantrum. When Jaydn goes still and doesn't move, the AI booms that music again. When that doesn't work, the AI turns it up to something else. It's higher in pitch and it drives Jaydn nuts.   
  
"Alright! Jesus fuck! I'm up!"  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"It's like nails on a chalk board times five to her." Steve explains in his groggy sleep voice. "She's got super hearing."  
  
She growls as she gets up and walks like a drunk into the bathroom. The AI comes on again while she's in there.   
  
"Give it a rest!"  
  
"Bug says good morning. I informed him when you awoke. He would like to remind you that Buckys arm is ready."  
  
"You tell him we'll be down before breakfast!"  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
"Where'd your clothes go?"  
  
"I got hot."  
  
"They were small enough as it is."  
  
"Aw, Steve, my nakedness bother you?" She flicks her hair over her shoulder and strikes a seductive pose in the doorway.   
  
"I'm getting used to it. Which, by the way, you're gonna see a lot of." Steve tells me.   
  
"I have no complaints. But I make no promises not to punch someone in the mouth if they start talking trash."  
  
"You won't have to. She's very capable of doing it herself."  
  
"You didn't in the 40s."  
  
"The 40s were a different time. I had to blend in as much as possible. Playing the damsel in distress every so often kept my cover better. Oh, no, help me," She throws herself across the foot of the bed. "A man made a comment that he thinks I'm a whore. Boo-hoo-hoo, my honor!"   
  
Steve and I both laugh.   
  
"You're terrible picking on us like that. Men today are, to use the modern term, pussies."  
  
She gasps. "Steve! That's hardly an insult. Puss takes quite a pounding."  
  
Steve turns bright red and even I feel like I'm blushing.   
  
"You're still terrible."   
  
"I can't help it." She gets up and fishes out of the dresser some clean undies, bra, and a dress.   
  
"I got something if you wanna change."  
  
"It can wait. Once I get my arm on I wanna shower. No sense in changing to shower and change again."  
  
She steps out with wet hair. She must've ran it under the sink. She runs a brush through it before tying it back and braiding it.   
  
"I remember you hate dresses."  
  
"I hated 1940s style dresses. And the 50s, but then in the 60's and on they were more relaxed. I love this style. They're much more comfy."   
  
It's stretchy around her bust and flowy from there down just to above her knees. I like it.   
  
"We're gonna change after we shower."  
  
Her brow arches.   
  
"Shower separately." Steve adds and she grins.   
  
"I don't remember you being so dirty."  
  
"Yeah, well, I've been celibate for like ten years and I like brawny guys."  
  
"Steve, get out. Go tell Bug Jaydn and I are gonna be an hour."  
  
"As tempting as that sounds, I don't think jumping off the deep end into where we left off is a good idea."  
  
"Hm, maybe you're right."  
  
"Don't make that face. It's not the lack of arm if that's what you're thinking."  
  
"It is unsightly. I get it if you don't f-"  
  
"It's not the arm." She insists and flicks my nose. "I've had several lovers with missing limbs and other ailments that ranged from deaf, dumb, blind, to missing limbs and extra fingers, toes, and one had a tail."  
  
"A tail? You dated a guy with a tail?"  
  
"Azazel. He's the only immortal I know that is older than myself and he's still kickin'. He's a tall man for his time, red skinned and has a tail."  
  
"He's still alive?"  
  
"Don't sound like I just killed your puppy. Our relationship died ages ago. We are friends now and Azazel has Lindy and now you're back in the picture."  
  
"I thought you didn't want to pick up where we left off."  
  
"I also didn't say there's absolutely no chance of it happening either. You got things to work out up here." Her pointer finger lands on my forehead. "You and Steve are rekindling your bromance,"  
  
"Bromance?"  
  
"Guys that are such close great friends people mistake them for being gay together."   
  
"And then there's Stark, the nutbags of humanity, mutant affairs, and I don't want you to become overwhelmed with things by trying to be as if nothing ever happened."   
  
"And you're busy. I get it. World affairs is bigger than our private life."  
  
She breathes in deeply as she pinches my cheeks. "Damn I love a guy that can understand."  
  
"I understand it, I just don't like it. If I had my way you me and Steve would be on a deserted island and far far away from all this crap."  
  
"No girl for me, Buck? That's mean, real mean. Especially since now I'm not some scrawny guy the ladies ignore."  
  
"Fine then. We'll find you a girl and then we'll move to No-Drama Island. Where we are always half naked and go fishing every day."  
  
"And I'm a bitch. Weather above eighty-degrees is like a sauna for me."  
  
"We'll get air conditioning. Now hug me and lets get a move on. I want my arm."  
With my head turned and hugged against her chest, I can hear her heartbeat.   
  
"And ya'll are gonna shower while I make breakfast cause you two are now ripe."  
  
"Yes ma'am." Steve replies as he gets a morning hug. I remember her always giving him hugs when she saw him back in the day. A lotta people thought she was a slut bouncing between the two of us, but it just wasn't like that.   
Once at the main house, we take the elevator down to sublevel 3.   
  
"What's 1 and 2?"  
  
"One is the hospital, and the nursery."  
  
"Nursery? I thought this was a school?"  
  
"It is. Problem is, if a mutant shows up at a hospital or clinic for treatment, they will be rejected. Which is bullshit due to the hippocratic oath to preserve life, but mutants aren't seen as human. And reality is horny teens will be horny teens. We have his and her dorms and monitors to keep it that way but it's a bit difficult when people can teleport and walk through walls." She smiles, "I provide them with birth control options of all types but shit does happen."  
  
"And when it does, Jaydn gives them options. Many of which are even illegal."   
  
"Steve, when you're a victim of rape and become pregnant from it, you come talk to me. But until then it's her choice."  
  
"That's . . . understandable."  
  
"But what about other times hm? That's not necessarily fair to the unborn."  
  
"Technically, until the fetus grows a heart that beats on it's own, it's nothing but a bunch of cells that suck nutrients off you. And FYI, there's this thing called an ectopic pregnancy that can and will kill both the mother before the child can even begin to develop."  
  
"It's just . . . not fair. Now lets not go there again."  
  
"You went there, didn't you?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And?"  
  
"She punched me in the face."  
  
"I see it from your point of view that a baby asked for nothing, but you have to consider the circumstances. Not all mothers to be are married, not all of them have money, not all of them have friends or family that can help them and a lot of times, the guy drops them like a bad habit. You think that's easy then you go find a baby and we'll talk in ten years. FYI, babies get adopted. Children rarely do because parents want a baby, not something they can't raise before it has a memory. Lastly, back in the 40s, nuns would take in unmarried pregnant women so they could sell babies to couples that didn't qualify for adoption. Nuns, Steve. Because they were viewed as bastards and today the practice still continues."   
  
"That's some fucked up shit. Now the topic is out the window. One more word outta either of you and I'll beat you with my arm."  
  
She finds me hilarious and laughs all the way from the elevator to a workspace in the back left corner of the hall.   
  
"What's got you tickled pink?"  
  
"Bucky! Steve and I were arguing about birth control and all that,"  
  
"Again? You didn't learn the last time?"  
  
"You know me, Bug. I don't know when to quit."  
  
"Ain't that the truth."  
  
"And Bucky ended it, and says one more word outta either of us and he'll beat us with his arm!"   
Bug laughs.   
  
"I don't get it."  
  
Steve is even laughing. "Jaydn always tells people either they behave or she'll rip off their arm and beat them with it. You saying what she does is hilarious."   
  
"So this is the famous Bucky."   
  
He's a couch potato. I can tell by the paunch belly and sweat pants and stained tank top. His hair is longish, and sandy brown and he has a bright smile and big blue eyes.   
  
"He's bigger."  
  
"The pictures you saw was pre-HYDRA and pre-serum."   
  
"That explains it. Hop on up here. I'm gonna take a peek at your stub."  
  
"He's not insensitive. He's just uber genius. He's disconnected from normal people." Steve tells me.   
  
"I went through what I found on the original one. They didn't design it for long term use or everyday use. This one will be about the same weight. I couldn't do much about that since there's new features."   
  
I sit and he pulls off the sleeve on my stump to examine it.   
  
"I'm Jaydn's cog. Cog is fancy term for super genius. Think Einstein, Tesla and Stark on speed. There's also cogs that have a touch-know ability. A touch-know is a psychic that can touch something and kinda read it. A cog with that ability can handle something and instinctively know how it was created. Since I don't have the original, this is the closest I've come to it physically."  
  
"So you can touch my shoulder and know how my arm worked?"  
  
"Kinda, yeah."  
  
"That's freaky." His eyes glance up at me. "In a good way. Not freaky creepy way."  
  
"I know what ya mean. I figured since you're still here then you know what Jaydn is and you're cool with us."  
  
"Just how many people know about our history?"  
  
"I like to eavesdrop. My girlfriend was also HYDRA."  
  
"What?"  
  
"He doesn't know?"  
  
"I didn't share that detail yet."   
  
"Spill. Hn!"  
  
"Did that hurt?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Sharp pain or dull?"  
  
"Sharp."  
  
"Can I continue?"  
  
"Yeah." I reach my free hand out to Jaydn. "Did they kidnap her?"   
  
"No. It's complicated."  
  
"Is she adopted?"  
  
"No. Remember that William Stryker I mentioned?"  
  
"Team X's CO, yeah."  
  
"During the time on Team X, he tested our abilities both physically and medically. He got samples of tissues, blood, and eventually genetic material. My genetic material was not given willingly."  
  
"That's for damn sure. It's some video footage I wish I never seen. She killed eight in the process, injured another ten, paralyzed two, and another was eating out of a straw for the rest of his life. All to remove an ovary."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That ovary has since then grew back. It was put on stasis and I thought it was destroyed when I destroyed Three-mile Island. I was wrong. It fell into HYDRA's hands."  
  
"Since they're fucking everywhere. Dull pain."  
  
"HYDRA played god with my DNA. They'd mix people up in a lab and implant into a surrogate. Ronnie and Ness are the result of that. When Bug was captured by HYDRA, they teamed him up with Ronnie for missions in information stealing. I found what base Bug was being held at, destroyed it and it gave him opportunity to escape."  
  
"Which I did. And Ronnie came with me. She wanted out, I got her out. Her sister too. They were both deemed defective because they questioned things. We became friends and to my extreme terror and surprise, Ronnie digs a guy with brains. When she heard you were coming, she was all, aaaah! Run away! And disappeared."  
  
"I don't blame her."  
  
"She's aware you're not the Winter Soldier anymore, but y'know, being raised there with you as the Boogeyman, she's just freaking out is all. Once she meets you she'll chill. Any pain?"  
  
"No."  
  
"How about now?"  
  
"No."  
  
"And now?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Sharp or dull?"  
  
"Sharp."  
  
I rub my thumb over Jaydn's knuckles.   
  
"Did you destroy your eggs?"  
  
"Not yet. I haven't found the facility where they conduct everything. Ronnie & Ness don't remember that far back and says they all looked the same."  
  
"You should've seen her face when Ronnie and I showed up and Ron was all like hi ma."   
  
"I've had some white kids in my time, but Ronnie's not white; she's albino."  
  
"Technically, no because her eyes are blue and her hair is black. If she were a true albino-"  
  
"Focus on his arm will you?"  
  
He snickers. "Y'know I never miss a moment to correct you."  
  
"Feel anything here?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Mk. We got some dead hardware in here. I'm gonna have to remove it before I can fit the new arm on."  
  
"Go for it."  
  
"Tell me if you feel anything."  
  
"We'll find it."  
  
"Eventually. I know. I had people working on it but they need to be on the frontlines."   
  
"You got any other kids?"  
  
"Probably. I don't think about it or there's gonna be fire fire everywhere."  
  
"Just why didn't you flame on?"  
  
"It was before Wade was immortal. He was in the room directly above us and Stryker was crazy enough to put explosives in the room with us. If I ignited, there was a half a dozen barrels ready to explode at the slightest hint of heat. Stryker was a son of a hagfish, but he was a smart little bastard. I was also naive at the time about just what they could do with it. I don't have a problem reproducing so it's not a medical field I kept track of."   
  
"Why keep track at all? You regenerate." Steve points out.   
  
"That I do. And humans are always looking for new ways to hurt each other so there must be new ways to fix it."   
  
"Ah!"   
  
"Ta-da?"   
  
It's on. It hurt but it's on. I test it out by bending each finger down and then up.   
  
"How's that feel?"  
  
"About the same. Maybe a bit lighter."  
  
"Really? Cause I figured with the upgrades it wouldn't be any lighter."  
  
"What kind of upgrades?"  
  
"You won't be setting off metal detectors anymore. You've got 30-percent higher range in motion in your shoulder and it should be more sensitive to sensations such as weight and heat and cold. The recalibration time might be faster too. Stark might've picked up the old one after your fight in Siberia. I'm actually hoping he did so I can steal it from him."   
  
"You're so bad."   
  
"I learned from the best. Besides, I've never liked Stark. It's always party-booze-sex-drugs-more party. Dude needs to chill."  
  
Steve chuckles. "It's just not in his nature."  
  
"He's an attention whore and flaunts and preens like 24-7."  
  
"And you're a couch potato so what's that say about you?"  
  
"That my genius brain is too busy thinking about real things and not fashion, girls, sex, or ways to fuck myself up."  
  
"The only time he preens is when Ronnie's gonna be around. Then he's showered, shaved, and looking like a young man and not an overgrown child living in his mama's basement hacking into World of Warcraft accounts."  
  
"Seeing as you're my girlfriends mother, that kinda makes you my in-law."  
  
"Oh no."  
  
"Oh yeah. And this is my cave which is in the basement of your school, which is like your home, so, hi ma." He chuckles. "Go take her for a test run and let me know if anything feels tight or weird. That sounded less sexual in my head. Anyway, it's been a few days. I'm expecting Ronnie to return some time today so I'm gonna go preen. Why is it always animal stuff with you?"  
  
"Cause we're all animals. We just walk upright and have a different brain. Think about it, when you notice someone, it's how they look isn't it?"   
  
"Sad but true."  
  
"Jaydn was wearing the most scandalous bathing suit of the decade."   
  
"That I do not doubt. Now get outta my lab so I can close shop."  
  
"Thanks kid."  
  
"Bug. I'm not a kid. I'm 25."  
  
"Alright Bug. Thanks."  
  
He grins. "You're welcome. Now go take a shower. Both of you. Jaydn, all the recent events bullshit is on your plex. I left it with Quad. I figured with us forever understaffed, you'd be in the kitchen."  
  
"Need a hand?"  
  
"I've got it." She replies with a sleepy smile. "How's it feel?"  
  
"I'll let you know in an hour."   
  
"Try not to set anything on fire."   
  
We part ways when we're off the elevator.   
  
"Feel better?"  
  
"I guess. It'll never be as good as the real one, but," I shrug. "It's better than nothing."  
  
Steve gets me some clean clothes. "Jaydn's room is the only one with a shower. I can use the one out here."  
  
Sounds fine to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading! Please comment! Thank-you to he/she that left me the kudos and all who follow my AU. Got any ideas for me? Anything you'd like to see happen? Comment and let me know cause I could use some ideas.


	5. Chapter 5: Jaydn POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be told in Jaydn's POV. There will be talk about her bloody past, some mentions of the 40s with Bucky, and some heavy petting. I hope you like it.

**Chapter 5**   
**Jaydn POV**

**A/N:** Lets switch it up a bit. This will be in Jaydn's POV.   
**Warnings:** M/F, swearing, handjobs.  
 **Thanks** : To my readers and subscribers. I love you all!

  
Now I know what it's like to be on the other side of the fence. Azazel, Victor, Logan, they're as immortal as myself. Them "dying" doesn't necessarily mean they're dead. Forever.   
My head is still spinning from Bucky suddenly being alive and dropped in my lap. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.   
  
You'd think I'd be used to mortals dying on me and I am, but still there's always that shock when it's sooner than expected or sudden, and then there's the loss; the fact that 100 years from now, I'm not gonna remember much about you and you will be dust in the ground.   
  
Truth is, before Bucky, I had been alone for a long time. I reconnected with Victor in the 20s, but it wasn't the same. It was nothing like when we were together in the 1860s. We had become friends again but not lovers. When World War I came Victor was gone overseas again and Logan went with him. I didn't join them. I was just done. It seemed like every fifty years there was a new war.   
  
Then World War II erupted. With it came newer medicine and newer weapons in which to kill each other with. Again, Victor and Logan joined the cause and I hadn't gone with them. Instead, I was interested in Howard Stark and his promises of technology thought to be a joke in those days. Through Howard, I met Steve Rogers and through him I met Bucky.   
  
Bucky, now sound asleep next to me. He's got his metal arm back and he can sleep more comfortably by laying on his belly and hugging the pillow. This is how he always slept. Or if he was exhausted he's just lay on his back, arms and legs sprawled out and he'd sometimes sleep through the night in that position. I once had to check on him to make sure he wasn't dead.   
  
A ladies man, a real flirt, charismatic, and everyone liked him. It was always a concern of mine. In the past I've dated men like him and for a while they could be monogamous for a while, but in the end, I wasn't enough for them or they just couldn't handle it.   
  
I'll never admit it outloud that I am a jealous woman because I don't think I am. I don't get jealous. I get angry. When you say you're the only one then I best be the only fucking one or you're not gonna be the only one either or I'll dump you all together. It's not fair, that double standard. When a man has more than one woman, he's the man, he's king and it's great.   
  
But when a woman has more than one man, she's a slut and a whore. And the worst part is she could be a faithful woman, but if she's attractive, people still assume that because other men chase her that she's with all of them.   
  
I never intended to befriend him or Steve. I was there to observe Howard and Dr.Erskine. He was, after all, using a mutant for his serum. I wanted to see how it would affect a human and at the same time I was ready to rip Erskine apart for using a mutant for his serum. Then I learned said mutant was willing. I had to let it slide or I'd be exposed but I'm pretty sure Erskine already knew what I was.   
  
The more I was there, the more I was around Steve. It's a shame he and Peggy didn't get their time. She saw him as more than just his physical appearance. He was stick thin and frail looking, but he had the heart of a lion. She saw that in him just like I do. He really liked her and I think given the chance, the time, she would've opened up more to him. But sometimes things just aren't fair.   
  
With so much time spent with Steve and Peggy, "blending in", I was spending more and more time with him and suddenly blending in to survive had became more relaxed. He was just so . . . Just thinking about him still makes me purr. It doesn't disturb either of them. (Steve's asleep on the other side of him.)  
  
He knew how to make a girl feel special and the more time went on, the more he proved he was serious about getting with me. Eventually the only perfume I could find on him was Peggy, and I knew there was nothing there. I could see how she looked at Steve and Bucky and I both very much approved.   
  
The Bucky I knew was a talkative guy, both privately and public but private always stayed private. Good god, could this man talk. He was outgoing, friendly, dedicated and hardworking. He was kind and sweet, brave; much braver than I. I still wonder how he would've reacted to knowing I'm not entirely human. If he would've turned on me like so many had before or if he'd be one of the better ones and get over it.   
  
The Bucky I met a couple days ago, god he looked broken. I've seen that look on so many people it almost makes me wonder if he'll ever really be okay. No, I don't want him to be okay. I want him to be happy. I want him to be okay and good and happy and because I didn't fucking go over there with them- it makes my chest ache thinking I could've changed the outcome.   
  
If I had fallen off that train, I'd have lived. I would be risking exposure if I had gone back, but damn it! HYDRA mind fucked him for the past 70 years! He will never be the same again. I'm terrified that he'll never have the life he deserves. The life with the pretty wife and the house and kids and the family dog. He deserves to have someone to grow old and die with, naturally. Like humans do.   
I can hear the grandfather clock downstairs ding. It's now eight AM. Buckys head pops up, eyes opening only for a second.   
  
"Time?"  
  
"It's still early. You can sleep."  
  
"You're up."  
  
"Had to pee. I couldn't get back to sleep."  
  
Half true. The other reason I can't sleep is because you're here, alive, and I'm still reeling from it.   
  
For his sake, I almost wish it wasn't true. If he had died, he'd just be dead. No HYDRA experiments, no serum experiments, no mind fucking and shock therapy and missions. Is that cruel of me to think?  
  
He groans as he turns on his side and begins pulling me to him. I know I told him we shouldn't pick up where we left off, that we should be friends while he worked on things mentally and I worked on mutant affairs and fighting off the warmongers, but fuck it. If he needs me to be close for him to be okay, then I'll do it.   
  
"Hm, you're warm."   
  
"Are you too hot?"  
  
"No. I like it. I don't like the cold."  
  
He went to bed in just a pair of shorts. I rub his back and purr. Purring always has a calming effect on people. Soon he's asleep again and remains that way for another hour. When the clock dings nine, he and Steve both groan.   
  
"You weren't asleep?"  
  
"Half asleep."  
  
"Nine o'clock. I've already slept in."  
  
"Hey, you're both super soldiers. You gotta sleep some time. I turn into a monster without my sleep."   
  
"Impossible. You're not a monster." Bucky kisses my forehead and his cheek rests there after.   
  
"Remember, there's a lot more to me than you knew back in the day."  
  
"So you scent people and growl and hiss. You're still not a monster. You're adorable."   
  
He can't see my bitter smile. Oh Bucky, if you only knew. If only you knew that my first kill was my own father at age 12. If only you knew how many I've killed to keep my secret or just because they enraged me. If only you knew how many wealthy sons of bitches I've married for the sole purpose of killing to inherit their wealth and status?   
  
I wonder if you knew more about my rein in Egypt for 150 years was because I slaughtered everyone that opposed me. If you knew that the Red Wolf hear-say from the Jewish community is actually me going on a rampage through Nazi camps when I got wind of your death.   
Or how, long before you, when I was with the Vikings and I killed Saxons. Lets not forget how many Romans I've killed, and the Crusades.   
  
I wonder what you would think if you knew how (Victor and) I would tear our way across the fields down south or the jungles of Vietnam, and enjoy it. I enjoyed it all. I regret none of it like you do, my dear Bucky, and that is why I am a monster.   
  
"Wakey wakey, love birds." Steve pulls the sheet off us. "Come on. We got things to do." He reaches over and gives me a slap on the ass that makes me hoot like a damn owl.   
  
"Hands off Steve." Bucky's hand splays across one cheek and squeezes.  
Steve slaps him on the ass and Bucky just chuckles.   
  
"I didn't know you were into spanking, Stevie."  
He is too. Not just spanking but being spanked himself. I snicker at Steves oh my god! face.   
  
"Fondu!"  
  
His chuckles turn into laughs when Steve exclaims, "Oh my god! It was over 50 years ago! Let it go!"  
  
"Never!"  
  
"Get up! Or I'll get a bucket of ice cold water."  
  
"Steve, I can manipulate water."  
  
"Oh yeah." He says thoughtfully. "That's not fair!"  
  
"It's called life. It's not fair." Bucky retorts. "Stop shaking the bed."  
  
"Then get out of it."  
  
He grabs me by the ankles and I grab the bars of my headboard. Bucky finds it hilarious that Steve is trying to pry me out of bed.   
  
"You look like you're flying." He chuckles. "And a tune comes to my head. I think it's from that movie where the witch is flying around a house?"  
  
Steve and I both hum out the tune.   
  
"That's the one! What movie is that?"  
  
"The Wizard of Oz. And I'm not a witch. Though I did once dive off a cliff with a broom and manipulated the air current to give the illusion I was flying on said broom."  
  
"You didn't!"  
  
"I did. They pissed me off so I made them piss their pants. It was that or set the town on fi-ah."  
  
"What'd they do?"  
  
"Oh, y'know, usual witch hunt. I broke some people out of jail and they chased after me for it."  
  
"And I'm guessing they were in jail because people thought they were witches?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"And they were what?"  
  
"One was a mutant, the other two were human. How's the arm?" I sit up and begin unbraiding my hair.   
  
"So far, so good."  
  
"You should swing by Bugs just to be sure. He'll be able to tell if there's anything that might just need adjusting, and it can be taken care of before something happens and we all freak out. What?"   
  
"Your eyes are red." Stop staring at me with them big concerned eyes.   
  
"I had a weepy moment."  
  
"About?"  
  
"Don't worry about it."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"I said don't worry about it."  
  
"And I say, don't hide things from me because you think I'm incapable of handling it."  
I huff through my nose and cross my arms.   
  
"Steve, we'll meet you downstairs."   
  
He closes the door behind him and then Bucky pounces on me.   
  
"Tell me."  
  
"You won't like it."  
  
"Don't baby me."  
  
Damn he's so much stronger now.   
  
"That's cheating."  
  
"Life's not fair, remember? Now start talking."   
  
I remain silent.   
  
"Start talking or we'll be here all day."  
  
"You gotta pee some time."  
  
"Then I guess you're gonna get wet."  
  
"Bucky, I'll admit I can be a bit of a kinky girl, but that's where I draw a line."   
  
He smiles and scoots down my body so he's nose to nose with me.   
  
"Tell me."  
  
"I don't want to. Don't get pushy and let me up."  
  
"No. I'm comfortable here."   
  
A moment of silence passes.   
  
"You're not gonna tell me, are you?"  
  
"No."  
  
He blows in my face and uses his metal hand to keep my arms pinned, and uses the other to tickle me. God damn it, Barnes! Stop that! Stop!   
His finger trails down the under side of my bicep and across my pit and all the way down my side.   
  
"Aw, who's ticklish?"  
  
"No!"   
  
"Yes!"  
  
He uses both hands and gets me going until I can't breathe.   
  
"Now tell me." He pins my hands again.   
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please? If it's because of me, I need to know. I want to know so I can fix it."  
  
"You can't."  
  
He just gets this look and now I have to elaborate or he's gonna think that he can't be fixed.   
  
"It's nothing you've done, Bucky. Wait!"  
  
"I get it! I can't be fixed!"  
  
"You can't fix it because it's already happened!"  
  
He stares at me a moment and I can see he's confused.   
  
"I was thinking how you being alive is both a blessing and a curse, but more of a curse because of how you're still alive."  
  
"So you rather I be dead?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Then what? I already wish I was dead."  
  
Damn it, Jaydn. Over a thousand years old and you have such a way with words. 

"I thought about how if I had gone with you, things would've been different somehow. If it was me that fell instead of you, I'd have survived just fine."  
  
"HYDRA would've picked you up and you'd be where I am."  
  
"Doubt it."  
  
"Then I would've been without you. You wouldn't have come back, would you?"  
  
"Probably not. But you'd still be alive and you'd have eventually moved on with life,"  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes. And you would've had the life you should've; with another mortal where you can have the house and the kids and grow old and die together. It's how it's supposed to be. And I," I swallow. Go away you stupid lump.   
  
"I thought if you had died it would just be that. You'd be dead. There wouldn't have been experiments or the missions, and you wouldn't be in this pain."  
Damn it, my eyes have turned into a waterfall.   
  
"Hey, c'mon, no crying."  
  
"I can't help it. It's the body's natural response to being overwhelmed."   
  
He sits on the bed, one leg on either side of me and bear hugs me.   
  
"No one could've known that was going to happen."  
  
Oh, but that's where you're wrong! I have seers. None of them predicted that!   
  
"And you're wrong about me moving on. 70-years later and even after all HYDRA's done to me, I still had instinct about Steve and you. I thought for the longest time you were just a figment of my imagination, like some kinda coping mechanism or something. When Steve said you were real, that was was fucking terrifying. Then you'd know what I've done and hate me for it."   
  
"I could never hate you."   
  
"Never say never. You told me that."  
  
Yeah, I did!   
  
"Okay. It's highly unlikely I will hate you. Unless of course you run off with some other woman. Then that bitch is gonna die."  
  
Bucky chuckles. "Not likely."  
  
But like you say, you never know. Even seers sometimes just don't know. Things change all the time.   
  
"Now no more crying and no more thinking about the past. We got no way to change it. So get up, shower, tame this mess that's clinging to me."  
  
"Static."  
  
"And come join me for breakfast. I'll make Steve cook and you won't be subjected to burned toast and overdone eggs."  
  
"You used to cook all the time."  
  
"I did."  
  
"Um-hm. It was always breakfast food with you and Steve. Eggs and this or that and toast, or pancakes, french toast. It'll come back to you."  
  
"I hope so. Anything in particular you want?"  
  
You, me, pancakes and syrup. In this bed. Alone.   
  
"Sausage."  
  
Your sausage.   
  
"Links. In the freezer. I stocked the house before bed last night. Ya'll are a bunch of pigs."  
  
"Said the animorph."  
  
"Ooh!" I playfully push him. "Animal jokes. Hilarious."  
  
"I thought so. I remember you wanted a farm with pigs and chickens. Right? Is that right?"  
  
"Yes. Cause I thought they were cute."   
  
"You're cute. Gimme kiss."  
  
"Morning breath."  
  
"Psh. Think I care?"   
  
He tips me backwards and for a second I feel like I'm falling out of the bed, and cling to him.   
  
"Scared you."  
  
"You jerk."  
  
When his lips meet mine, damn my nostalgia feelings! Damn my celibacy! I suddenly feel like I'm on fire and it really doesn't help I can feel how hard he is.   
  
"We better stop. Friends don't do this."  
  
"You'd be surprised what friends do together these days. But you're right. We shouldn't just dive in and Steve's waiting on us. We can't scar him with the noise."  
Bucky chuckles. "Fondu. I'm never gonna get over that. Go enjoy your shower."  
  
"Do you want a hand with that?"  
  
His shoulders tremble. "It'll go down once I stop thinking."  
  
"Bucky, this is a persistent thing. If you keep putting it off, you're going to cause yourself physical pain."  
  
"I'll deal with it. I don't deserve pleasure."  
  
"I disagree. In fact, I encourage it."  
  
"I think you just want to get your hands on me."  
  
"I'm serious. You're deserving of much. You can take care of it yourself, you know. There's nothing wrong with that."   
  
"I've tried . . . before. When I was having dreams about you. I'd wake up hard as a fucking rock, and sometimes I just couldn't . . . This is fucking embarrassing."  
  
"Don't be. It happens. The PTSD can affect other aspects of life that have no connection to one another. Let me show you pleasure."  
  
"We shouldn't. You even said so."  
  
"There are plenty of things besides sex. Can I show you?"   
  
"Please?"  
  
"Strip those off and lie back."   
  
I pull from my night stand the lube. I bend his knees a little and slip my legs under his so I'm closer but only my legs touch him.   
  
"Just relax and breathe. I want you to think back to those saucy dreams you had of me."  
  
He moans deeply at my touch and the muscles in his legs twitch.   
  
"I think that serum made you bigger everywhere."  
  
There's a soft chuckle followed by another moan.   
  
"Is that a bad thing?"  
  
"Believe it or not, there is a such thing as too much."   
  
I swirl my fingers around his glands and tickle that spot that makes his cock twitch. I measure his length against my arm. He measures from the crook of my elbow to the permiant crease where my wrist bends.   
  
"I think eight inches is perfect."  
  
"Eight inches? You," He breathes in deeply, "can tell that?"  
  
"Um-hm. Nice and fat."   
  
He's got a nice fat cock. When I squeeze him, he trembles and fists the sheets.   
  
"You ready to cum for me, Bucky?"  
  
"Can I?"  
  
"Of course you can. You can when ever your ready."   
  
He looks at me and not the ceiling, and then he looks up again.   
  
"I can't."   
  
"Yes you can. Look at me. Tell me what moment of us you're thinking about."   
  
He breathes in deeply.   
  
"In one dream . . . we were in the tunnel of love at Coney Island. And you, you,"  
  
"I what? What were we doing?"  
  
He doesn't answer me. His back just arches and the muscles in his legs are flexing.   
  
"Did you like what I was doing?   
  
"Mouth! Your mouth." He sounds breathless despite his panting.   
  
"I remember that date. I paid him off you know. To stop the ride so we could get stuck in the dark. It was my payback for that night we snuck out of a bar into the alley, and we nearly got caught. I purposely wound you up that day because I knew where we were going. We both got a little case of exhibitionism. Part of me was just thrilled that someone might catch us and then they'd know who I belonged to."   
  
"Oh! God! Jay! Harder." He growls.  
  
I keep my pace but tighten my hold on his thick beautiful cock. Just your hands, Jaydn. You can't jump him. Not yet.   
  
"Cum for me, Bucky. Oh, yes, just like this."  
  
His chest is heaving as he cums so hard it spurts all the way up to his collarbone. I slow my hands as he begins to come down from his high and massage his sac.   
  
"Oh, fuck," That puts a smile on his face.   
  
"Hm." I purr as I rub his belly with both my hands, and sweep up a bit of him to taste. Sweet and salty and just like I remember.   
  
"Got any more for me? You're still hard."  
  
"Wait! W- ohh!"   
  
"You too sensitive?"  
  
"Don't stop." He growls as he pushes both hands into his hair and pulls.   
  
I keep one hand stroking his thick red cock and my other hand massages his sac.   
  
"You gonna come again for me? So soon?"  
  
"I remember that night! In the alley. You had . . . no panties."  
  
"I was just so eager to have you that night."  
  
"Yeah? Me?"  
  
"Of course you. You in that damn uniform, all confident and preening about for me. You fucked me so good that morning I wanted more."  
  
That does it. His entire body trembles, his hips bucking like they had before when he came the first time. This time is more of a dry orgasm but now he's going down.   
I rub my hands over his hip bones and his abdomen again.   
  
"Light . . head."  
  
"Breathe deeply. All the way to your belly." He does as I tell him. "Hold it for a few seconds."  
He does this a few times and his breathing becomes less frantic.   
  
"Feel better?"  
  
He groans and stretches before laying limp, his breathing still elevated.   
  
"Thank-you."  
  
"No need to thank me. I enjoyed that as much as you did."  
  
"I doubt that." The smile fades from his face. "What about you?"  
  
"What about me?"  
  
"Don't you . . .? Aren't you hot?"  
  
"Don't you worry about me, Bucky." I tell him as I pull my legs from beneath his and lean over him.   
  
"This was all about you. I wanted to make you feel good and that is what satisfies me."  
  
Though if he were to flip me onto my back and plunge his cock inside me, I wouldn't fight him. Not one bit.   
  
I peck his lips. "Now go have a rinse off and join Steve downstairs."   
  
"I don't feel like moving at the moment."  
  
Smiling, I roll my eyes and get up.   
  
"Then I'm going to shower. Alone."  
  
"Yes ma'am."   
  
"Enjoy that glow, B."  
  
"I feel like . . . like melted butter on toast."  
  
"But it's a good feeling, right?"  
  
"Very good."   
  
"Good."  
  
"Jay?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
He swallows. "Kiss me?"  
  
He's feeling vulnerable. I can see it in his eyes. I drop my clean clothes at the end of the bed and sprawl out beside him, curling my hair around my shoulder and out of the way so I can kiss him. I start with his lips and move across his stubbled jaw, up to his forehead. His eyes close and he smiles. There is nothing better than feeling someone smiling in your kisses.   
  
"Better?"  
  
"Much better."


	6. Chapet 6 : UC 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an accident that causes Bucky to freak out. This chapter is kinda long.

**Chapter 6**   
**UC 3  
  
**

Jaydn is back in DC to discuss the UC 3 incident. Steve and I are watching the live feed. They're insisting that it was the act of a few persons, not the human government. She's demanding proof of that.   
  
_"We can't get proof of anything when mutants won't allow us to help them!"_  
  
_"Well, gee, I wonder why the hell that is! When your idea of HELPING is the exact opposite of ours. Your idea of helping comes with experimentation and extortion. I gave them orders not to allow anyone in with exception of friendlies. The problem there lies with you and how you treat friendlies like you treat mutants. That is why the bridge between us is small and continues to shrink instead of grow. They're afraid of helping us because of what you do to your own kind, which in itself, is sad to say the least._  
 _"I will go to UC 3 and I will clean up the mess those people made. If any mutants go missing, I will blame you. If any of them turn up dead and of suspicious causes, I will blame you. If-"_  
  
_"You had an entire city under our city! Therefor it is property of-"_  
  
_"Mutants because no human would live down there willingly, except of course the homeless veterans you throw away. It was built for mutants and inhabited by mutants to keep them safe from you._  
  
_"You will stand aside and I will take care of this because I don't trust you to do so. This action alone is grounds for war. As if have previously stated that any attack on us, will cause the war you're looking for._  
  
_"However, I am not naive enough to believe there isn't individuals out there that would act like this in hopes of starting said war. It is not what I want, but do not think that I will allow actions like this to slide. I will find answers and if this is not the actions of a few and it leads back to you, then we are going to have massive problems. I'm done here."_  
  
_"You are done when we say you're done! I have-"_  
  
_"Then by all means, hurry it up."_  
  
_"There are hundreds of mutants, unregistered-"_  
  
_"It is not law to register. Irrelevant. Next."_  
  
_"There is now civil unrest due to hundreds of people flooding the city to escape the supposedly safe place you built for them. How-"_  
  
_"It was a safe place until humans bombed it and had been safe for over a century for both humans and mutants. As for the civil unrest, perhaps if there were less assholes in the world, there wouldn't be so much civil unrest due to racial tension. When you take away a persons options, they have no other option than things such as theift to eat. Considering your ever expanding waistline, senator, and the waistlines of your wife and children, none of you know what it is like to go to bed hungry, wake up hungry, be hungry all day and go to bed only to wake up and do it again. The light is now on, that's the end of my time to talk. If you have more to say, you know my e-mail. G'bye. I've got more important things to do than argue with walls."_  
  
"Do you think we'll be able to give her a hand?"  
  
"Maybe. I don't know. We're both wanted. But considering the chaos the city is in, something tells me that it's not likely we're going to be spotted."  
He whips out the cellphone Jaydn gave him and begins to text.   
  
"Texting her?"  
  
"Yeah. To see if she's going directly there or not."  
  
I turn the TV down. I can do without the "need for registration" speil.   
  
"She says she's stopping here to get some gear. Then she and Lindy are going to UC 3. She says we can go at our own risk of being spotted."  
  
We both go upstairs and change. We had gone for a run and then swimming. We ate breakfast in our swim trunks.   
When I step out of my room I hear Jaydn's feet coming fast up the stairs.   
  
"Gives you a headache, doesn't it?"  
  
"I'd say you have no idea, but I'm sure you were watching."  
  
"We were. This alright? I don't . . . remember doing anything like this."  
  
"You comfortable in it?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Then you're good. But you might get hot in that longsleeve shirt."  
  
"I know. Thing is, everyone knows me by it."  
  
She nods and turns. "Unzip me?"  
  
"All you gotta do is ask."  
  
"I think he just wants to get you outta your clothes."  
  
"Guilty. And don't pretend you're blind."  
  
Steve holds both hands up in surrender.  
  
"It's alright. Just no touching."   
  
She gasps and turns in the doorway. "I will hug Steve whenever I want."   
  
"That's far from what I meant."  
  
"I know!" She says through the door.   
  
When she returns it's in a pair of jean shorts that end at the knee and a loose t-shirt.   
  
"Lindy, meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes."  
  
She's taller than Jaydn and is pasty white like the bottom of a fishes belly. Her hair is ink black and curly like a pigs tail and ends just past her shoulders. It's been swept back into a tail but a lot has popped free.   
  
"Mutant?"  
  
"Problem?"  
  
There's a light pink blemish down the left side of her otherwise flawless skin. It covers half her face, her neck, and her arm and hand all on her left side.   
  
"Nah. Just wondering."   
  
She squeezes my left arm and says nothing.   
  
"Have we met before?"  
  
"Breifly."  
  
"Did I hurt you?"   
  
"No."  
  
"Be honest."  
  
"I'm a teleporter. HYDRA has tried to capture me and failed. Failed so much and so epically, that they gave up."  
  
"They gave up trying to catch you?"  
  
"As a porter, it's impossible for anyone to contain me." She grins.   
  
"Everyone has leverage."  
  
"My sister's a porter too. As is my boyfriend. I have no family."  
  
"This is Azazel's Lindy."  
  
"And you're okay with their history?"  
  
"I'm not worried about it. It was a very long time ago. You ready?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Alright boys, we got one more stop and then it's into a part of hell. Hands."   
  
"Hands?"  
  
"Lindy can teleport up to a dozen persons including herself. As long as we're touching." She puts Steves hand on my shoulder and then takes my hand and Lindys. "We'll go with her."  
  
"This isn't gonna hurt, is it?"  
  
Next thing I know I'm standing in a wearhouse.   
  
"I don't know. You tell me."  
  
"You got my package ready?"  
  
He's Asian; where exactly I can't be sure. His hair has turned salt and pepper but aside from that, he doesn't look that old. He says nothing to Jaydn but when she holds her hand up, he touches his to hers. Is that Korean?  
  
Lindy takes it with her and then comes back for us. Outside of UC 3 are those in riot gear, lined up on one side and on the other side is mutants and friendlies. Inbetween the two lines is the medical hospital.   
  
The road is open but hardly. There is a lane going left and another right. I can tell it's tense out here because there's signs that have been trampled and there's still some people out here in silent protest.   
  
"Who is he? The guy we just saw?"  
  
"He's from Cambodia during the last war. A mutant. He's now mute because when he was captured, they cut out his tongue."  
  
"And that motion with the hand?"  
  
"It's Jaydn language for I see you. After what they did to him, he's decided to live life as a recluse. He's now a guard to one of our many stashes of supplies for events like this."  
Jaydns presense alone causes a stir already. Many have paused to stare at her and some of them do so like they've never seen her before.   
  
"Relax people. It's just me. Jesus isn't here for the second coming."  
  
"You might as well be their Jesus cause you know he's not coming back. I still say he was a mutant with a god complex."  
  
"Boomer!"   
  
The way they shake hands makes me think of two old friends seeing eachother for the first time in years.   
  
"You're looking more and more silver every time I see you."  
  
"We can't all age as slow as you."  
  
"I didn't say it was a bad thing. I think it suits you. You look like Stephen Lang."  
  
"Who's that?"  
  
"An actor."  
  
"Handsome or fugly?"  
  
"Handsome. Preen later. Gimme status."  
  
"Riot's finally dead. There's an Italian fella taking the dead to volcanos for creamation. The injured need better and the hospital still says fuck you all. We need water, rations, more medical supplies, which I see you've brought; thanks." He takes a breath and continues.   
  
"Shit has been tense but it's slowing down. I think reality is getting to some people on how bad shit's getting. So far we've managed to stabalize the entrance and Fei is keeping the place ventilated as much as possible."  
  
"Aeron?"  
  
"Gone."  
  
"Rachel?"  
  
"Safe."  
  
"Mawmaw?"  
  
"Not so hot. Everyone that can stand the sun is up here. Others that weren't injured were shipped out to other safe zones."   
  
They continue talking for several minutes. She tells us to stay here and talks privately with Lindy. Then, one by one, the injured are disappearing from sight.   
  
"Oh sure, they love what they can do but at the same time they wanna kill them. It's not right."  
  
"A lot of things aren't right."  
  
"Could you imagine how many lives would be saved with a teleporter as an EMT? Go straight from scene to the hospital. Hundreds if not thousands. What's she doing?"  
  
"I have schools everywhere but not all are equipped with what is needed. I do however, have another place they can be taken for care. Follow me. Put your masks on. Do not take them off for whatever reason, but first, take this."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Iodine pills. That bomb that went off has just enough radiation to harm humans. You're not human but you're not mutant either, not naturally anyway. Most of us are immune to such levels but I'm not taking a risk with either of you."  
  
Steve and I take it and the bottled water.   
  
"Strap it on you and remember, masks stay on."  
  
"I'd feel better if you wore one." I tell her. There's a sigh but she doesn't argue with me and puts one on.  
  
"Is that why humans are so far back?"  
  
"Yep. It's dessipated but there could be trace anywhere."  
The stairs going down are wide and remind me of subway stairs. Down here it's better than I expected. It's empty and it puts me on edge.   
  
"You okay?" Jaydn stops to look at me.   
  
"Fine."  
  
"I can smell the adrenaline in you, Buck. Try not to lie to me. It's okay if you're not okay. I know what this looks like."  
  
"I'm okay, really. It's just nerves."   
  
She searches my eyes and says, "If this bothers either of you, tell me. I will hold nothing against you. If you need a break, you take one. If you gotta get out, get out. Got it?"  
  
"Yes ma'am." Steve replies and she looks from him to me.   
  
"I got it."  
  
"Okay. We're going down again. This level was cleared. The bottom hasn't. Due to where that bomb was, it collapsed the entrance and it fell onto the first floor, which shook the second. Other parts are so old they just collapsed with the shockwave. This is the bottom so you don't have to worry much about your footing. You can't fall through anything."  
There's still people down here. The lighting is shit. The air smells between stone and dead body.   
  
"About time."  
  
"There's a reason I give training for this. I can't be everywhere all the time."  
  
"I know. But it's better when you're here."  
  
"You did most of the heavy lifting."  
  
"Yeah, but you have the hope effect on people. I don't. From here down hasn't been cleared."  
  
"Why don't you go take a break. We'll take over."  
  
"Because we can't go in the sunshine."  
  
"Doesn't mean you can't take a break near the entrance for some air." She claps him on the back and a dust cloud comes up. "Take a break! You're no good to anyone if you're dead."  
  
"Ooh, slap me again. But lower. A lot lower."  
  
"God, you're just as bad as Wade."  
  
"What can I say? I got an Indian Princess fetish."  
  
"I'm not Indian."  
  
"Whatever. Feathers-not-dots. Have fun."  
  
"Loads of fun. So much fun. Hey Fei."  
The rest is in a language I don't know but I'm guessing it's Chinese.   
There's tunels branching out in a circle and spoke pattern. For hours we are down here. More peope are dug out from under rubble and a few so critically injured it's amazing they're not dead yet.   
  
"Wait a second. What's that sound?"  
  
There's no warning. The ceiling just fucking collapses and I don't see Jaydn anymore.   
  
"Jaydn!"  
  
"Wait! Wait! Don't pull! Hey!"  
  
"Bucky, wait! What?"  
  
"We felt it collapse. Don't go ripping through that. There's- hey!" He grabs me by the hair. I duck and twist around and push him. "You need to take a step back! You go pulling things out and you pull the wrong one, more is gonna fall!"  
  
No!  
  
"Fei, how's the air current?"  
  
"Tight."  
  
"We got any x-rays?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What?"  
  
"X-ray vision. Maybe there's only a part that collapsed. Maybe the whole tunnel is down. We don't know. Give her a minute. If she hasn't responded by now, she might just be unconscious."   
A few seconds feel like minutes. Minutes feel like hours and then we hear movement.   
  
"Jaydn, you awake?"  
There's harsh coughing that I know all too well. She's bleeding internally.   
  
"Damn . . . fuck ceiling."  
  
Followed by more movement.   
  
"You need a hand?"  
  
"No." Followed by her growling. "Nevermind. I'm fucking stuck."  
  
"How bad is it looking?"  
  
There's more harsh coughing. "I can see to the other side. Have Lindy take you to the other side. It should be easier that way. You got a light?"  
  
"Do you see me?" He shines the flashlight across the mountain of stone.   
  
"Hardly."   
  
"I'll go get Lindy." I race up the stairs and find her at the line, talking to Boomer.   
  
"What happened?"  
  
I guess my expression gives me away.   
  
"Collapse downstairs. Jaydn's stuck under it. We need you to take us to the other side. She says she can see it."  
  
"I'll be back." She tells Boomer and touches my arm and disappears. When I reappear I'm back underground and I can hear Steve talking to the others about how to go about propping the ceiling up so as we move things, nothing else will fall on her.   
  
"If she's able to move rock, why can't she now?"  
  
"Because she's losing blood as she's replacing it. Until she's out from under what's crushing her, her body's going to be dedicated to fixing her the best it can. Think of it like this, when you're in pain or half conscious, how great is your ability working? Her trying could make things worse. We do this the natural way."   
  
"Mask on." Steve reminds me.   
  
"I can't breathe."  
  
"Relax, B. . . I'm fine."  
  
"You've got a pile of boulders on you! I can't . . . breathe!"  
  
"Yes you can. Put the mask on . . please? The dust is just gonna make it worse."  
  
"You're insane! Woman, I swear!" I hold it over my face and breathe.   
  
"Don't pant. Just breathe."   
  
"Every other breath, hold it for ten seconds. Stay here." Steve tells me.   
  
"I want to help!"  
  
"I found us a rock man!"   
  
"Rock man? He's a kid."  
  
"I'm 21. Don't let this face fool you. And rocks are my thing."   
  
"I said natural-"  
  
"We'll be here all day and we're mutants. This is natural."   
  
"What are you gonna do?"  
  
"Move things in reverse and prop a ceiling until we get her out from under there."  
I can only describe it as watching a movie in reverse. Rocks and brick go up and up and up and she's under one of the support pieces. Fucking blood everywhere.   
  
"Slowly. Slowly. It's crush injuries. It's gonna hurt when we lift it. Blood will be flowing to parts it couldn't."   
  
"You awake?"  
  
Her eyes are unfocused.   
  
"You take her. We got this."  
  
I take her hand. "Can you feel this?"  
  
"Yeah. You might not want to do that. When they start lif-" Her hand closes around my right hand   
and she lets out a pained wail. I think she just broke my hand.   
  
"Worse than giving birth?"   
  
"I rather be birthing breech than this!"   
  
I can hear more snapping but it's not my hand. I manage to weasel my metal hand into her other hand that had closed into a fist and her claws were digging into her palm.   
  
"A little faster guys. The wall behind you is being disturbed."  
  
It's finally become too much and she's passed out. I pull her out and hold her in my arms. I feel so fucking helpless!   
  
"What's that snapping noise?"  
  
"It's bones fixing themselves. She just needs some time and she'll be alright." Lindy assures me.   
  
"I wish I was as sure as you are. Can you take us home?"  
  
"Might as well. She's gonna be out of it for a while."  
  
Lindy touches us and we disappear. When we land it's on the living room floor. I lay her out on the couch and just watch her. She's breathing normally.   
  
"Gimme your hand."  
  
"You can go now. Thanks."  
  
"Gimme your hand. She broke your fingers. I can set them."  
I let her set my fingers and then she goes. When she comes back Steve is with her.   
  
"So much for being useful, huh?"  
  
"Don't, Steve."  
  
"Humor's a coping mechanism." And walks away.   
  
I touch her neck for a pulse and hold her hand against my face. She's not warm like she usually is. She's so pale.   
  
"Buck."  
  
Steve's got a bowl of water and a wash cloth. I get every inch of skin I can see but I can still smell the copper. Taste it even.   
  
"Should we take her to a doctor or something?"   
  
"She'll be fine."  
  
"Why does everyone keep saying that! A ceiling fell on her!"  
  
Steve sighs, rubbing a hand over his eyes and then through his hair.   
  
"You think this doesn't scare me?"  
  
"You sure seem calm."  
  
"I'm not. I'm just as helpless in this as you are but reality is, she's far more indestructable than we realize. She's survived being shot in the head. She's survived without her heart and when Ronnie needed a lung, Jaydn gave her one. All of which was done without any type of pain killers. She's going to sleep until her blood replentishes and then she's gonna drink like a fish, eat a lotta protein, and take a nap." He explains softly and with a sigh. "It's terrifying but she will be fine. If you want I can have Bug see her."  
  
"I thought his area was technology."  
  
"It is. LeNoir and Gina are her medical team. He's a cog, she's a friendly and Bug sometimes works with LeNoir. He's not unfamiliar with the medical stuff she has here."  
  
I don't answer right away. "It'd make me feel better but I don't want to move her."   
Steve takes the bowl of blood water in the kitchen and brings back a clean bowl.   
  
"Have you seen her get hurt a lot?"  
  
He hesitates to answer.   
  
"She has a habit of being a human sheild. Her answer is always I'll heal from it, you won't. Sad to say it's been true more times than I want to admit."  
  
"She was protecting you?"  
  
"Me, Tasha, Clint, kids. She's always fine afterwards but it still scares me."  
  
"That's payback."  
  
"What?"   
  
"For all the times I can remember pulling you outta a fight and when you got hurt protecting me."  
  
"Seems I'm getting a lot of karma lately."  
  
Damn nose. I wipe my hands on my jeans and grab the tissue box.   
  
"She's not warm like usual. Do we blanket her or what?"  
  
"I don't know. I've never seen her unconscious for this long. I guess it couldn't hurt."  
  
"Ding-dong!" I hear the door hit the wall. "Honey! I'm home!"  
  
"Who's that?"  
  
"Wade."   
  
"Who?"  
  
"Deadpool. He's not gonna be happy."  
  
"Jaydn? You sleeping?" He wonders in from the kitchen, apple in his hand and the mask is half up over his face.   
  
He freezes when he sees us with her and he's suddenly hostile. The apple hits the floor and the gun is on us before Steve can get a word out.   
  
"Back away."  
  
"Relax, Wade. We didn't do this."  
  
"Back away from her."   
  
"Wade, let me explain. We were in-"  
  
"I said, back away. Make me say it again and I'll shoot you both. Starting with him." The gun moves from Steve to my head. He's just out of arms reach or I'd disarm him.   
  
"Bucky, back away."  
  
"No! I'm not letting this psycho,"  
  
"Please! Please?" That tone, those eyes, Steve's begging me to back down.   
  
When we're standing back by the sliding glass doors, the gun is on the floor and he's peeling off his gloves and checking her over.   
  
"We went to help out UC 3. They still haven't cleared it and we were in the bottom level not even five minutes and the ceiling collapsed. She was under it."  
  
"How long ago?"  
  
"We got back maybe 20 minutes? Half an hour at the most."   
  
He's stressed about it. I can see it by the way he rocks on his knees and he's breathing faster, louder. Is that what I look like when I'm having a panic attack?  
  
"Jaydn? Babe? How long has she been unconscious?"  
  
"Since we got the slab off her. She passed out. Do you know what to do?"  
  
"Yeah. Yeah." He gets up and pulls the blanket off the back of the couch and tucks her in. "She'll need to hydrate. She does better with a natural coconut IV drip."  
  
"Coconut?"  
  
"Hydration. She can't drink right now so . . . coconut water."  
  
He finds a vein and sticks the needle in.   
  
"It'll help her along. She just needs some sleep now."  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
I hear a zipper and he's peeling the suit off of her, all the while keeping that blanket on her. He takes the blood soaked clothes to the laundry room, comes back and sits on the floor with his apple.   
  
"Well, I was having a good day."  
  
"I need a beer. You guys want one?"  
  
"Fuck the beer and bring me the bottle of jack." He bites into the apple and while munching loudly,   
"You Bucky?"  
  
"Yeah." I sit on the coffee table. "You've seen her this bad?"  
  
"Worse. If you can believe that."   
  
Steve returns with the bottle. "I forget Jaydn doesn't like beer."  
  
"She's weird like that. She does love them fruity umbrella drinks though." He unscrews the cap and has a long drink. "So you two back to bumping uglies?"  
  
"Not exactly. What did she tell you about us?"  
  
"Since she's ancient," He hands me the bottle, "I asked a few times about past boyfriends. I remember the name Bucky but not what was said. It was a long time ago. My memory's probably worse than yours."  
  
"I doubt that."  
  
"When I woke up I didn't even have a name. If it wasn't for the dogtags, I'd have probably picked something worse than Wade. Wade. What kinda name is that?"  
  
"Winter Soldier's not a great name either."  
  
"Yeah. Big point there."  
  
"Do you remember anything at all?"  
  
"I started having some really x-rated dreams of her. I took a job to take out some chick named Jaydn. When I saw the resemblance, I hesitated. She woke up while I was watching her sleep like the creepy guy I am, and then bam! She blew my mind. What little memories I have are of her."  
  
"It's why he trusts her so much." Steve tells me as he accepts the bottle.   
  
"She's the only link I got to a previous life. Wolvie's memory is shit. Victor's got the finger nails of a bag lady and every time we meet he likes to use me as a scratching post and not in the good way like Jaydn does."  
  
I choke on my drink.   
  
"What? As if you didn't know we used to be a thing."  
  
"I know. I just wasn't expecting that."  
  
"He's crass."   
  
"Amongst other things." He gasps and pulls something out of a pocket inside his uniform. "We have babies!" When he flips it open a series of photos roll out in a plastic covering. "Look what I made. If I didn't know better, I'd think Emilie belonged to someone else. She's my little albino."   
  
I envy the guy. He had it all with her at one point.   
  
"I've seen pictures."  
  
"Yes, but these are baby pictures. Pictures they constantly try to find and burn. Aren't they cute!"   
Seeing them when they're younger, damn they all look like Jaydn. Dark hair, the cheeks, their grins.   
  
"Adorable."  
  
It reminds me that I had a son. I had a baby with her that grew up and I missed it all.   
  
"What's that face for?"  
  
"You didn't know they had a son?"  
  
"No." Wade replies slowly. "He dead?"  
  
"Yeah. She said you- you-" I breathe in deeply, "George. He had a heart condition."  
  
"Oh! Him! I only remember what she's told me. That sucks. I'm sorry." Followed by him throwing his arms around me in a bear hug. It's . . . sweet. But I'm not feeling it.   
  
"I think that's enough Wade."  
  
"I'd lose what's left of my mind if one died. Well, maybe not died of natural shit, but if someone killed one, oooh, I'd turn into the HULK kinda rage through the world of bad guys and then when I found said bad guy, it would be very slow and very painful. My turn." He plucks the bottle from my hands.   
  
"So you and Jaydn, you two a thing again or what?"  
  
"Not quite."  
  
"Well, just so you know, I'm always gonna be here. I'm always gonna get hugs and sometimes sleep in the same bed cause I got issues. I'm not going away and you'll have to deal with it or you will suddenly disappear. I don't do sharing, but I'm all kinds of fucked up so . . . Steve says you're a good guy. I can deal with that. I think."  
Jaydns groaning gets our attention.   
  
"Are we too loud?"  
  
She doesn't respond. She just turns so she's on her side and gets comfortable.   
  
"Who stuck this in me and what is it?"   
  
"I did. Coconut water to help you hydrate."  
  
"Wade," She groans. "That's stuff for people that need-"  
  
"You needed it. He did it. Get over it. How you feeling?" I ask.   
  
"Want some nasty raw fish?"   
  
"Sleep."  
  
"Would you prefer the bed?"  
  
And she's asleep again.   
  
"I got her."  
  
"No. I got her. You can bring that thing up." I take the small pouch and set it on her before picking her up. "And you can get the door."  
He's up and hopping up the stairs before me, door open, covers peeled back.   
  
"So much for bein' useful, huh?"  
  
"Don't you worry about it, babydoll. No one could've known if and when that was gonna fall. You just happened to be there."  
  
"Take it out."  
  
"No. You need it."  
  
"It'll do nothing but make me pee."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hydration . . . I'm sleeping, and I'll have to pee."  
  
"You got a half an hour before I'll take it out. Until then, you're hydrating." Wade tells her.   
  
She moans softly and gets comfortable with one arm stuck out so she doesn't pull the tubing. That same hand grabs my fingers and tries to hold on but she's just too tired.   
  
"You can stay with her. I gotta go wash my sweaty ass. I'm starting to itch!" He announces as he heads into the bathroom.   
  
I sigh, looking down at her. Color's returned to her face so that's good. I carefully lie down next to her, the blanket keeping us from touching skin to skin. Her arm drapes over me. I'm afraid to touch her. What if she's still healing and I touch her and she breaks something?  
I'm half asleep when Wade waltzes in wearing a robe and I can see the scars on his skin.   
  
"I know, I'm fugly. No need to stare."  
  
"It just surprised me is all."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go make a burrito. No handsy stuff." And touches her forehead and checks her pulse.   
  
"She good?"  
  
"I think so." He takes the supplies back downstairs with him. Then his head pops back in when I thought he was gone. "You can touch her. She's not gonna break. Just don't squeeze."  
  
That I can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you, my readers! I have a few chapters already written, so if you would like an update sooner than a week, leave a comment. Or just leave a comment about anything. About anything you think is OOC or if you want to see something particular happen, leave me a comment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky checks out. Some Steve POV. Establishing a love triangle. Tell me who you'd like to see as the end game!

**Chapter 7**

  
  
I remember her. I don't know exactly from where but I remember her. Long dark hair, beautiful tan skin and big brown eyes. She knows the man from the bridge too- Steve. I think we were all friends once . . . a long time ago. In another life.   
She's asleep and laying on her side, facing me. She's even more beautiful than my scatterd memories. Even when she's asleep and drooling.   
When she sighs, I flinch. She turns the pillow over and kicks the blanket half off her. Her back is exposed and I can see the curve of her breast. If that blanket slides off the bed any farther and I'm going to see everything. I . . don't know if- I don't think they'd like fraternizing.   
  
"Too . . hot." Followed by a pained moan.   
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Slept too long in that position."   
  
I don't like that she's in pain. I know that pain. The stiffness that comes with when they wake me up. It's like pins and needles sometimes. Other times it's just my joints that hurt. But it's mostly my head. Everything is fuzzy. I don't always remember where I am or who people are around me.  She manages to tuck her arm against her chest and thumps her head against the pillow.   
  
"Can I do anything?"  
  
"I'm alright Buck. I just need some protein. It's probably another reason why I feel so stiff. I slept like the dead."  
  
_Collapsing ceiling! Ceiling fell on her!_  
  
Panic is setting in with the fear.   
  
"I remember . . . a ceiling falling." Her head turns to look at me. "On you."  
  
She's turned stiff. Now I've made her afraid of me. I don't want her to be afraid of me. 

"Why didn't I save you? I could've done more."  
  
Her head turns and she stares at me. Is she confused?  
  
"Soldier?"  
  
"Yes. Have we not met before?"  
  
"Not exactly. And don't you worry about that ceiling. It could've happened to anyone. I just happed to be there when it fell. You had nothing to do with it. Understand?"  
  
I nod yes.   
  
"Do you know where you are?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Do you know who I am?"  
  
"I dreamed about you. I didn't think you were real."  
  
"I'm very much real. What's the last thing you remember?"  
  
"Leaving. To Romania."  
  
"Leaving where?"  
  
"From them. Running. Was I with you?"  
  
"No. You were with a friend."  
  
She must mean the man from the bridge.   
  
"Steve?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Are they after you too?"  
  
"There's always someone after me."  
  
"Then we stick together. I can trust you, yes?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do I scare you?"  
  
"Just a tiny bit."  
  
"I'm sorry. I don't do that anymore. Those things. They made me."  
  
"I know. I'm Jaydn. In case you don't remember."  
  
"I remember your face. As if I could forget such beauty."  
  
"Yeah. Me drooling like a Saint Bernard in my sleep and glueing my hair to my face, so beautiful." She uses her other hand to push her hair back off her shoulders.   
  
"What are you to me?"  
  
"Friend."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"An ally you have by choice."  
  
"Steve?"  
  
"He's a friend too."   
  
"Not HYDRA?"  
  
"Not HYDRA." She confirms.   
  
"I won't go back in the cold?"  
  
"Not as long as we can help it."  
  
This is what releif must feel like.   
  
"My arm is different. Why?"  
  
"The old one was removed during a fight with Ironman. I gave you a new one."  
  
"Thank-you."  
  
"You don't have to thank me. We're friends. Friends help each other."  
  
"It is . . .new concept to me. Are we more than friends?"   
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"We are in bed together and you are naked."  
  
"It's a bit complecated, our relationship. Right now, we are friends. The ceiling collapsing on me took place yesterday. I've been asleep since then while I was regenerating."  
  
"You heal fast."  
  
"Faster than you."  
  
"Are you okay now?"  
  
"Yeah. Now I'm just hungry."  
  
"I'm always hungry."  
  
"And I gotta shower."  
  
Oh god, it's happening again. It always does when I have dreams about her.   
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"You can talk to me. I will not punish you for it."  
  
"It . . . When I dream about you . . . they tried giving me girls but it felt wrong."   
  
"Oh." She blushes.   
  
"It's why I asked if we . . . do we? Did we?" I swallow. "Can we?"  
  
"I can help fill in the blank spaces as long as you try not to become angry."  
  
"Did they hurt you? I never told them about you."  
  
"No. It's nothing like that. You know those dreams of yours that are about me and Steve? They're figments of a life before HYDRA."  
  
"They always said Steve is the enemy and I had no life."  
  
"They lied to keep you under their thumb. Steve's an Avenger, one of the good guys, and HYDRA fears him."  
  
"And you?"  
  
Her smirk is lazy but I read it clearly as yes.   
  
"So we were once more than friends?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then you loved me?"   
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do you still love me?"  
  
"There is much you have to sort out, your memories, the lack there of, and other things. That is why we are just friends now. When we thought you died, HYDRA picked you up, they gave you that metal arm you had before."  
I sigh. "I'm damaged. They said no one would want me." I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed.   
  
"Hey, hey, look at me." When she sits up she pulls the blanket with her and sits next to me. "We're both damaged in one way or another. HYDRA told you that as a way to keep you compliant and loyal to them. Soldier, look at me."   
  
I look at her out the corner of my eye.   
  
"There is much you don't know about yourself. I will not take advantage of you like that."  
  
"I don't . . . understand why about anything. I need you to love me. I want it and I don't understand!"   
  
"And that is why we are friends now. I know this may not make sense to you but one day it will. I'll be here until that day and the days after. You're not getting rid of me and I will never leave you. Understand what I say?"  
  
I sigh and nod yes. "My head hurts."  
  
"I have some pain killers if you want them."  
  
"No. I'm just . . . I'm tired."  
  
"Do you want me to lie down with you?"  
  
"You just woke up."  
  
"And you're tired. If you want me to lie with you while you nap, I will."   
  
"I think . . . yes."  
  
I get comfortable with my head against her chest and her arms around me, stroking my hair. The blanket seperates me from her delicious bare skin. Bare skin that I can feel under the fingers of my flesh arm I have draped across her waist.   
  
"Are you purring?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How do you do that?"  
  
"I'm enhanced."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"The natural kind. I was born the way I am."  
  
"So you're cat-like?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"Jaydn?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Is Bucky my name?"  
  
"James Barnes. Bucky is a nickname and everyone knows you by it."  
  
"James Barnes. Bucky. Bucky sounds more familiar. Will you call me Bucky instead of Soldier?"  
  
"If you want."  
  
"Yes. . . they never ask me what I want. They punish me if I say."   
  
"I am not HYDRA. If you want something, tell me, okay? Look at me." Her fingers curl under my chin to make me look up. "You can always talk to me. About anything. Memories. If you're confused or you don't know about something or someone. You have choice with me. I know it will take time to get used to but try to remember that."   
  
I sit up enough and press my lips to hers.   
  
"I shouldn't have done that."  
  
"It's okay. I think I'll keep it."   
  
I kiss her again, longer, deeper. This feels good and right. But there's that voice in the back of my mind that tells me I don't deserve to feel good because I'm not good.   
  
"Relax and take your nap." She kisses my forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"I promise."

** Steve POV **

They've been asleep a real long time. I better go check on them. I haven't heard any kinda movement. I think I heard them talking earlier.  I slowly open Jaydns door and find them asleep together in bed. He's got her in a bear hug and she's stroking his head. Her head pops up and looks at me.  
  
"Is he asleep?"  
  
She nods yes.   
  
"Is he okay?"  
  
"I think yesterday freaked him out real bad."  
  
"Why?"   
  
"He went all Winter Soldier on me."  
  
"What? Did he hurt you? I didn't hear anything."  
  
"He didn't hurt me. He was just . . . watching me sleep. He was so confused, Steve. It was like talking to a confused kid."  
I breathe in deeply and rub the back of my neck.   
  
"What'd he say?"  
  
"He had dreams about me and about you. The last thing he remembered was running from HYDRA and insisted he didn't do those things anymore. He asked who I was, where we were. He remembered the ceiling collapsing on me and that he should've done more. I think it triggered him."   
  
I'm confused.   
  
"Why would it? It's nothing to do with HYDRA."  
  
"Yeah, but the soldiers mind set is different than Bucky. Maybe Bucky was having trouble dealing with seeing me like that and his mind went somewhere where he could be okay with me being hurt."  
  
"Maybe. It makes sense."  
  
"I'm no shrink, but when Elle talks, I listen."  
  
"What else?"  
  
"Nothing much. He wasn't violent in any way. He just seemed really confused. He said he had a headache so I offered to lie down with him while he napped. It didn't take him long to fall asleep."  
  
"He came up here with you to watch you. I don't think he fell asleep until late last night. I had to bring dinner up to him cause he wouldn't leave. He's as stubborn as you."  
  
"Speak for yourself, Mr. Rogers. You're like a bull with a grudge sometimes."  
Ain't that the truth.   
  
"You hungry?"  
  
"Starving."  
  
"I'll go fix you something. I didn't leave anything out. I didn't want it to spoil in the heat."  
  
"Thanks Steve."   
  
I'm not a psychology kinda guy, but what Jaydn said about him not being able to deal with it, it makes sense. Bucky loves Jaydn. It was definitely lust at first sight, her in that bathing suit, my god that bathing suit, and then she weaseled right under his skin. He became less and less interested in dating half a dozen girls to just Jaydn. He "grew up" as my parents said.   
I remember he'd write to her before bed so the letter would be out first thing in the morning. He gave her one of his dog-tags and promised he'd be back for it. It didn't seem long at all and he started talking about finding a ring, and asking me if I thought she'd like a house the city or the country.   
  
But like Peggy and I, Bucky and Jaydn didn't get the time we deserved. Bucky was dead. I was frozen. Peggy died. And Jaydn was . . . lets just say if she didn't have eyes for Bucky back then I'd have asked her out. Then I met Peggy and it seemed like everything was as it should be.   
  
Then I died. At least I should have died. The serum kept me alive and I was thawed out of the ice. Time was stolen from me. I got to see Peggy before she was gone. I enjoyed it even if she didn't always remember me.   
Jaydn and I got close in a way we never would have if Peggy and Bucky were alive. They were gone and now he's not. It complicates things. I don't know if we'll ever tell him. I don't think he'd handle it well. He's already so fragile. I think it would just kill him.   
Problem is, I think I love her. There were two women (besides my mother) that didn't treat me like an invalid or look at me like a weak boy wearing his fathers clothes. The first was Jaydn and the second was Peggy.   
Jaydn's that girl every guy wants. She's beauty and brains. She's a great mother, kind and sweet, and at the same time she has a dark side. The terrifying thing about it is, she's not afraid of it. I am. I'm afraid of my dark side. She says she likes it and makes me more human to her.   
  
I warm the sausage pancakes and slice everything up before adding the syrup. I pile on some strawberries and grab a few boiled eggs. Wade says they're good for protein and she likes them sprinkled with salt so I grab that too.   
When I reach the room, he's turned on his other side to lay on his metal arm, still asleep. His right must've gone numb. She's in the shower now. The water's running and through the crack in the door I can see the slightly fogged mirror.   
  
Our last night together started in the tub. I had a day to myself to decompress from mission. She understands sometimes I need to relax before I see her so when I see her, I'm with her and not somewhere else.   
When I got there she was getting ready to go in a bubble bath that smelled like berries. She invited me to join her and we relaxed together until the water had gone cold and the bubbles flat.   
What started out in the tub went into the bedroom and then into the shower the next morning. A mere day later and the bomb was dropped that Bucky was alive. We both decided that it was best to discontinue our relationship because of where he is mentally, he wouldn't understand. He might see it as going behind his back and while Jaydns a great gal, I wouldn't do that and because she is how she is, she wouldn't do it either.   
  
She comes out dressed in another one of those dresses with the stretchy top. This one isn't plain black. It's white with red hibiscus print. I like her in red. I'm used to seeing her in black but there is that one dress of hers- a little black cocktail dress that drapes off the shoulders and it just puts me in the mood.   
  
"How'd you manage to escape that arm?"  
  
"Eventually his went numb and he had to roll over. Took long enough. Once he was out he didn't move." She stuffs her cheeks and goes about brushing her hair at the vanity.   
  
"He didn't attack you?"  
  
She shakes her head no. "I don't think HYDRA ever showed him files on me."  
  
"Why wouldn't they? They've only been after you for what? 300 years?"  
  
"True, but it would interfere with his programming. They knew you were a trigger and anyone that knew you and Bucky, also knew me. It would contradict what they were trying to mold him into. They would risk him realizing he had a past and it posed an even greater risk: me realizing he's still alive and stealing him."   
Jaydn's got a point. Two points. They stopped chasing after her because they deemed her too dangerous. They couldn't put a leash on her, they couldn't (to use her words) mind fuck her bad enough that she was blindly obediant.   
They didn't have cryo when they captured her last. Bucky was kept in there so he didn't age, but also to keep him from remembering. You can't remember if you're not conscious.   
  
"How did he react to you?"  
  
"I think he thought he was dreaming. What memories he has are probably broken bits and pieces from dreams when they keep him out of cryo for a while. It's how Wade's memories, even my own, how I get some of them back. The tricky thing about regeneration, is it can be extreme. When Logan lost his memory, it wasn't just due to injury. It was due to the fact his mind was trying to protect himself. I think maybe that's why it's taken so long for him to remember anything about his past. Then there's also the stimulus factor. To the Winter Soldier, you're the enemy, you're a mask more than you are a face and they know Bucky knows you by face."  
  
"Do you think they'll ever meet? Him and the Soldier? Like, they'll recognize each other or something?"  
  
"I think the Winter Soldier might be a mind set, not a whole nother personality. Dissociative Identity Disorder is a severe dissociation that's a coping mechanism. It's a mental process where someone literally dissociates himself from a situation or experience that's too violent, traumatic or painful to assimilate with his conscious self. That, I think is how the Soldier was born. Bucky by nature, is not violent or murderous. So to be forced to be something and do things you don't want to,"  
  
"He coped the only way he could."  
  
"Exactly. And he exhibits the signs. Amnesia, depression, mood swings, but the weird part is I think the Soldier is aware he had a past life."  
  
"Why would that be weird?"   
  
"Because Dissociative Identity Disorder was also known as Multiple Personality Disorder for decades. These personalities are usually unaware of the presence of other personalities. I think the soldier is aware because he asked me if Bucky was his name."  
  
I sigh. "I don't like psychology."  
  
"Me neither. But Elle's a shrinky and I've been reading some of her books. The mind's a tricky thing. After all, it is a big pile of mush encased in bone."  
  
I smile briefly. "Leave it to you to break down a brain to a big pile of mush encased in bone."   
  
"But it is. While it's a wondrous thing, at the end of the day, it's mush." She belches and we both look at Bucky to see if it's disturbed him. Nope.   
  
"Guy once slept through a lightening storm that hit the house behind us. Now there's times he doesn't sleep for days."  
  
"There is treatment for this. It may be a while for him to really be open to it, but I'm nothing if not patient. And if worst comes to worst, I'll stuff him in a room with Elle and be her bodyguard while they talk."  
  
"You'd do that?"  
  
"I can't make him talk but I can stuff him in a room with her. Sometimes people don't want help because they think they don't deserve it, and that is what he thinks. Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind. But he's already shown progress."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"He's around you and isn't constantly trying to break your face, right? I call that progress. He's sharing his thoughts. HYDRA did not allow him to do that. He expects punishment for talking. For him to share with anyone how he feels or what he's thinking is a big step."  
  
"Does he still love you?"  
  
Her head tilts. "I think yes. Coming out of cryo I imagine would be like how you came out of the ice and time had not changed for you, and you felt the same things you felt pre-freeze. Your first thoughts were of Peggy and where you were, right? All your feelings remained. Suppose he comes out of cryo, is out for a week, and in that week he has bits and pieces about you and I. Naturally that's going to cause confusion, but with it might come other things like why he hasn't killed you though we both know if he really wanted to, he's physically able to. I was asleep next to him and he didn't do anything."   
  
"Doesn't that scare you?"  
  
"It does. But not because getting stabbed hurts, but if he should remember doing it . . ." She sighs and rubs her forehead. "Stress and fear can cause others to appear, much like Bruce and Hulk, and what's weird there is they know of each others existence just like Bucky and Soldier seem to."  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"What about me?"  
  
"Have you ever dissociated?"  
  
"Is that a rhetorical question?"  
  
"Right. Old as dirt. Trauma to high heaven. You sure cope well."  
  
"I can hear the bitter, Steve. You got something on your mind, out with it."  
  
I sigh. "Us is on my mind." I whisper. "Do you love him?"  
  
"Don't you?"  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
"I've known he's alive for only the past few days. Must you put me on spot like this?"  
  
She looks like I just punched her in the chest.   
  
"I'm sorry. It's just . . . why's things gotta be so messy?"  
  
"Life is messy. And I wondered that too."  
  
"That day you were crying?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What about?"  
  
Her head tips towards the bed.   
  
"Is it wrong part of me wishes he had just fallen and died?"   
  
"What?"  
  
"Because of what HYDRA did. If he was dead, he wouldn't be in the pain he's in now. I don't want him dead, but I don't want him in this pain either."  
  
"I get it. I wondered that too. But fact is, he's here and alive. We'll all deal with it. You stuffed?"  
  
"Like a turkey." She lets out a long burp and sighs. "Do we wake him?"  
  
"Do you think he'll wake up as himself?"  
  
She shrugs. "I'm no telepath. But I don't want him sleeping all day and being up all night. It'll be good for him to have some kinda schedule. Half the day's already gone. I gotta go deal with the government. I'm sure I have a thousand hate e-mails by now."  
"Not everyone hates you. Hug."   
  
I pull her into my lap and squeeze her. "You smell like blueberries."  
  
She squeezes me like I'm her teddy bear and kisses my cheek.   
  
"Things will work out. The universe has to balance itself some time."   
  
"God."  
  
"Universe."  
  
"God."  
  
"Universe."  
  
"God."  
  
"Bitch, I was worshiped as a goddess. I don't see you at my temple."  
  
"Because it's buried in the desert and we both know you had a god complex when you were younger."  
  
"Bite me."  
  
I growl playfully and bite her shoulder. She lightly elbows me in the chest and tries getting off my lap but her feet don't touch the floor.   
  
"Having trouble there?"  
  
"Kiss my butt, Steve. You were once as tall as me."  
  
"I remember." I give her a tip forward and onto her feet. "As if I could forget."  
  
She goes over to the bed and kneels down to be eye to eye with Bucky on the bed. She blows gently in his face until it irritates him and wakes him up. He groans and puts a hand in her face.   
  
"Your breath stinks."  
  
"I would think so. I just had a bunch of sausage and sugar."  
  
"Time?"  
  
"One o'clock. I figured you better be up now if you wanna sleep at night."  
  
He groans as he stretches. "You stayed."  
  
"I said I would, didn't I?"   
  
He pulls her by the wrists until she's draped across him, tucked against his side and her legs still over his lap.   
  
""m not used to it. I think I could get used to it though."  
  
"You're awake for two minutes and already flirting. You pig."   
  
"Oink." Followed by a snort.   
  
"No. It's like this." Her features change and she nudges him with a snout and snorts back at him.   
  
"That's cheating." I can hear him breathe her in. "You smell like blueberries."  
  
"It's my body wash. And speaking of showers, you could use one yourself."   
  
"Are you sayin' I stink?"  
  
"You're more dusty than stinky."  
  
"You ate?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Feel better?"  
  
"Yes. And knowing Wade, there's still extra pancakes and sausage in the fridge."  
  
"Wade cooked it? Are you sure it's edible?"  
  
"He's actually a really good cook."  
  
"He's a weird guy, Wade. He isn't gonna try and kill me, is he?"  
  
"Nah. Maybe. Probably if you hurt me but other than that, nah."  
  
"If he tries anything I'll kick his ass."  
  
"He won't. We've already had a talk. Wade doesn't like upsetting me."  
  
"He loves you, doesn't he?"  
  
"Can we not go there?"  
  
"Nope. We're going there. If we're gonna be living in the same house and seeing each other on a daily basis, he needs to get it through his head I'm not going anywhere and when I'm better, things are gonna change. And by change I mean he's gonna move out cause I will not be able to tolerate his mouth."  
  
"Uh," Jaydn sighs. "I keep him sane now. He needs me around."  
  
"I didn't say you couldn't be around him. I said he can't live with us. Steve can live with us but that's it."  
  
She gasps. "What about my kids? They do occasionally visit me, y'know."  
  
"They're you're kids. That's different."  
  
"How about we discuss it when we get there."   
  
"Okay."  
  
"How's your head?"  
  
"Why? Did I do something?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
He shifts so he's on his side and looking at her. "Was I bad?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Did I hurt you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay, so what'd I do?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Winter Soldier doesn't do nothing, Jaydn. Don't lie to me."  
  
"I'm not lying. I woke up to you staring at me. You told me you thought I wasn't real and asked what we were because you had some dreams of me. The last thing you remembered was running from HYDRA and that you didn't do that anymore. I reminded you that Steve is a good guy and a friend. You complained of a headache so I laid down with you till you fell asleep. Eventually your arm went numb and when you rolled over, I grabbed a shower and here we are."  
He groans and hugs her.   
  
"Ew, you're all sweaty."   
  
"I recall you liking it when I sweat."  
  
"No tickles! I just ate!"  
  
"Ew!" He laughs when she belches.   
  
"That's what happens when you tickle me after eating."  
  
"She's a stuffed turkey. I wouldn't tickle her too much or you'll wear it."  
  
His head pops up. "How long you been there?"  
  
"I brought her something to eat and we talked."  
  
"Talked."  
  
"Yep. About the Soldier being all sweet on our girl."  
  
"Could've been worse. Now give us a kiss, sausage breath."  
  
"Bucky,"  
  
"What? Friends kiss on the cheek don't they? Close friends peck on the lips. Liks so," Followed by peppered kisses. "I'm gonna steal what I can. C'mon, I'm affection deprived."  
  
"So go kiss Steve."  
  
"I don't like guys."  
  
I don't like this. I turn my attention to the wall to try and ignore it, but I know what's going on. I know he still loves her. Back in the day I could see them being together until they died and now I can see her falling for him all over again. Only this time, I'm not thrilled about it.   
  
"Miss Jaydn," Viki's voice chimes. "You have a full box of e-mail and the mayor Davis is requesting a SCYPE session with you regarding UC 3."  
  
Both of them groan.   
  
"Go. Go show them who's boss."  
  
"Don't encourage me, I'll," She tries flipping herself upright over his legs without rolling across the bed.   
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Just boost me, will you? I don't wanna go rolling across this dirty bed."   
  
He sits up and gives her a hand.   
  
"I'll be in my office if you need me."   
  
"What were you gonna say? Before? Don't encourage me or what?"  
  
"Or I'd show them who's boss by setting them on fi-ah!"   
  
"What is it with you and setting fire to everything?"

"It works!"  
  
"Behave!"

"I'm trying!" I hear as she bounds down the stairs.   
  
"Morning. Or afternoon, actually." He gets up and sits in the spot across from me, rubbing his eyes.   
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah. Just wish I could remember earlier. I just remember coming up here and laying down with her." His exhale shudders. "It really scared me, Steve. Seeing her like that. Now she's up and running like it never happened. And earlier . . . what if I had done   
something to her in her sleep? I have memory of things I've done to people. I'm not above killing someone in their sleep."  
  
"But you didn't. Jaydn says thinking about the what-if's and the maybes aren't good. Fact: you didn't hurt her. You two didn't fight. You talked. The fact you weren't at all violent is a good thing."  
  
"Yeah. I guess. I just wish I knew when I was gonna switch off, y'know? I'd just go somewhere and be by myself. No accidents."  
  
"It doesn't work that way, Buck. At least I don't think it does. We talked about that too. Jaydn thinks that the reason you switched was because you couldn't handle seeing her like she was. The other guy is used to things like that and used to not feeling anything about it. So, as a way of coping, you switched off and he switched on."   
He sighs and massages his head with his fingertips.   
  
"The joys of having another personality."  
  
"Actually, that might not be completely accurate. The way Jaydn talked, it sounds like Multiple personalities can result from dissociative identity disorder. It's a different mind set but not another personality. I don't get it either."  
  
"So they're like the same thing? Sounds like the same thing."  
  
"It does, doesn't it? You oughta talk to Elle."  
  
"Elle?"  
  
"Her telepath. She's a really old friend of Jaydns."  
  
"I don't think I'd like that."  
  
"She won't read your mind."  
  
"You don't know that. I won't know that."  
  
"I trust Jaydns judgement. I don't think she'd keep her around if she was worried about being mind fucked."  
  
"Ooh, Stevie said fucked."   
  
"Sh." I gently kick him under the table. "There's no substitute for it. It is what it is."  
  
Bucky sighs. "Maybe some other time. Not yet. I wanna meet her first."  
  
"Okay. Fair enough. You hungry? There's still breakfast in the fridge."  
  
"Maybe after a shower."  
  
"Sounds like a plan. If I'm not down there when you are, I'll be in the cafeteria. Quad could always use a hand."  
  
"I don't see how. She's got four of 'em."  
  
We both have a laugh about it and go our separate ways.   
  
"I'll leave something for you to wear on the table here."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
He doesn't see it. Good.


End file.
